Friday, June 24, 2005

I had just typed sometime back that the past week was super yucky, frustrating and nutted up.

And I finished typing my blog, something goes wrong and all that I typed vanishes... AAAAAAARRRgh

First my net conn at home doesnt work. The people at BSNL say technical problem. In the middle of work. And then I am unable to send the files. My writer stops at 58% and refuses to do more burning. And smoke came out of my ears. Couldnt send the files in time. Floppies didnt work. They must be using defective pieces now, since floppies dont sell all that much. And then I had to go do all the translation all over again. boo hoo... Too much driving. Yasaswini goes back monday. Dunno when I will get to see her next.

In between some nice things happened. Like last sunday, attended a Podcasting meet organise by none other than Kiruba. Spent some time there, decided I will put up some audio and video blogs soon. It will be better off for mom also to explain some stuff if its supported by audio.

Then caught two movies on two consecutive nights. Batman Begins and Chandramukhi. Sathyam Cinemas. And since it was Chandramukhi and since it was night show, some people seemed to more interested with what I was doing and with whom I was than watch the movie itself. And I had gone with mom and a friend. YUCKY. Hate my life sometimes. Cant do your own thing. No privacy and on the other hand mom worrying to bits about a lot of things. Gossip for one.

And this explains what? I can forget about usual life people have. Can't be seen with the same set of people especially if it has the same set of boys.. cant jump into the water and have a swim and not worry, cant just drive the way I want, eat the way I want, do things the way I want. Because the soceity is watching. The people are watching. And I am a girl. Why wasn't I a boy? Damn. And cant even have a normal fight with my mother. People are hearing people are watching. I cant forget about the usual gen gaps we are all said to have. And when mom does tell me that I dont practise enough and if she sounds louder, then people have to go tsk tsk.. hellllooooo its our life... why do we need to be judged by some peeping toms and hearing harrys? why do we have to live in constant fear of what will be written and said about us? And its becasue mom grilled me that I am who I am today. A diamond needs to be cut.. for the brilliance to emerge. And that doesnt happen without effort...! And NOPE. The mediocrity wont understand that. The damn soceity wont understand. Why because we are two women. It would have been good if I had been a son. I cant see guy friends outside home. I cant see them at home. Outside, then gossip, people will see. At home, then people will say too many boys coming home. They can forget we have been together at school, or at college or at work. Or the guy home can be someone who is working on my damn system which conks every three days. But no. Its a guy. Finito. Then watchmen will gab, servants will yap. Yeeearghh.

Airtel sends me a bill for some other phone number. My mom's name, our address but some other number. Disconnects my free sms facility without informing. Says due date to pay bill is 26th but decided to disconnect on 21st. One of numbers had been asked to be name transferred, with all documents provided, three months back. STILL not done..Does not give 200 mins of free local, 100 mins of STD free. Please someone help with Airtel, or I will get a nervous breakdown and mom says she will get a heart attack. Would it be a good idea to sue? On the grounds of mental trauma, cost of petrol and shoddy work to say the least? And CHECK out the fuel prices! Am gonna get myself a hand cart. Or a cycle rickshaw with a driver, ahem, cycler.

Had to go judge a school competition today at Vidya Mandir, Adyar. Hot and dustry as there was a make shift stage and Pandal on the school grounds. sigh.. anyway that was done. That school is goddamn lucky to have the english teacher I learnt from. Mrs. Uma Prabhakar.
She is a pretty small made lady, always wears crisp cottons, and scrispier in speech. Her classes used to be crackling with excitement. And she always had a way of nurturing the creativity in each child. My 9th and 10th Standards were with her. And That is an impressionable age. I owe a lot of my English language development to her. Sometimes if all of us were too loud, and if she was in the next classroom, all that she did was to just stand outside our class, and give us all a plain look. And then she will say something in the softest of voices, but clear enough for all of us to shut our traps and be quiet, while there were times when even rapping a wooden scale on benches or boards could not shut us all up.

Life in school was good. It was carefree. Happier. Then we all grow. Grow up to be what?

Big sigh.

The Italian concert. Thanks a lot for the link. Some songs are not there, surprisingly. My Bhajan is also missing. Sigh again. If I remember right, there were 18 or 19 items.

P.S. And where did I type this from?? Aditi's house.. My net conn is still under technical trouble...

27 comments:

கொங்கு ராசா said...

aiyo paavam..!!
hear tis, u may get some peace.. ;-)

Anoop Sundaram said...

hi,
does really drive the point on wht girls ought to go thru in our society where in everyone's keen and doubly keen to know whts goin on with celebrities... .. hopefully our nation changes all of it with time... speaking of society.. did u get a chance to watch Anniyan? Its tooo coool!! really a MUST WATCH for all indians...
posted in the last time arnd in the wrong place ;-)

Chinmayi said...

I have booked in advance for Anniyan.. got only next tuesday night :)
Now that all the crap is outta me, me feel like smiling :)

Chinmayi said...

What was the Link about '????'

Gangadhar said...

"Life in school was good. It was carefree.."
Yeah you're right Chinmayi..Those were the happiest days for many people....If time permits go through the link..back to school

Aakarsh said...

i heard that Batman Begins is good..(compared toprevious flicks)..dont know abt Chandramukhi yet..although i am still unable to get over the song "konjum neram"..

IBH said...

from a lay man's perspective we can never understand the 'lack of privacy' part of a celebrity..but I can sure understand one thing...that if am followed or even frowned upon in public..i go nuts..u guys are just putting up with too many things and i can understand that so well!

here in US, it is all extreme with the paparrazzo following u everywhere,imean even when u sneeze,these guys are there to take a picture of that and mint money! it is just too extreme out here...

school days were and will remain the best days of my life too..I wish i never grew out of that :)

vimal said...

Now you can retreive what you typed in the blog, easily, in case it just vanishes. They have a link in same page.

Batman Begins is good. Anniyan could have been better.

Didnt' read rest of your blog. too long .sorry.

DaldaDappa and Proud said...

hey,

first time i am writing in ur blog.

DaldaDappa and Proud said...

oops... pressed a button before writing anything much... hehehe sorry! well firstly chinmayi i am huge fan of urs!

Geez sounds like ur gonna have a mental break down. Take a breather... I can understand how it would be for u...

Being a girl alone is difficult in the indian comm, being famous on top of tht wld be even more difficult. The only cure take a holiday! Perhaps shoppin therapy as well ;) tht always helps!

Did u like chandramukhi? Airtel was a pain for me as well when I came to India. SOmetimes the service would cut out for hours together, with no rhyme or reason.. They also took time to update credit and all.. i could go on and on...

Enuf from me! Take care! For the records, school was the best time of my life as well. I miss it... *SIGH*...

Visit my newly started blogs to knw more abt me.. http://preethzzz.blogspot.com/

Chez said...

Jimmy,

Its true that the societal obligations put a lot of stress in our individual freedom. I can u.stand how u feel as a celeb, but if u look around, every person has some problem or the other.

The best way i follow to oversome such feelings is try thinking abt others... whn we concentrate on others, we usually feel relaxed.. mostly bcos, we wouldnt have time to think and analyse our own probs.. at tht point all we cud do is just put it behind our back.

Its very simple to do.. Whomever u meet, just ask hows the day, then as hows the life.. probe in softly, inquire abt their day to day lives... slowly when u bring their probs out, u'll make them feel better.. and with their happiness u'll feel better..

ok ok.. enuf of my lecture.. as preethi said, take a breather... relax.. everything will be Okay! :-)

Ganesh said...

chinmayi

geez looks like chennai is same as ever. I guess somethings and some morons can never be changed. :(

Just humm little bit of Madhyamavati or Sahana and take a deep breather
you should be fine.
Atleast thats what I do those 2 ragams works like charm for me and ofcourse pranayama also helps a lot.

Ganesh said...

seriously speaking
the gossip monger do more harm, people who spread such things forget that they will be also at its receiving end some point of time.

Ignore those folks, you know who you are, that’s all I can say.

Now cheer up Sister.

Anjali said...

So much you ahve to forego for being a celeb.Its tough!But still You are an individual and You must have privacy and be yourself but our society and gossips.Definitely your language is great and nice of you to credit that to your teacher.Gurubyo namaha.

Sriram said...

Chinmayi,
can't help with the technical malfunctions with BSNL/Airtel.. now society,, i might be able to there! why so people care so much about what society might think of them? I believe that if you live FOR the society, you simply cease to exist as an individual! but that is just my notion.. I'd say be yourself and don't be inhibited by society. (what is that i hear?easy to say eh?) i shall stop here. if u need more, drop by sometime to my blog and lemme know! peace!

Mukunth said...

Wow! What an interesting life you lead! So many things happening all around you?!! Take a break...watch Mr.Bean or something.

Twin-Gemini said...

Well this thing is not there just in India, it's true everywhere. Celebrities all over are tortured this way.

Podcasting meet? Have heard about it a lot, but havent heard even one of them yet.

thennavan said...

OT: Have blogrolled you Chinmayi :-)

Twin-Gemini said...

Chinmayi, Finally got the Movie tag done. :-)

Surya said...

I think the Italy concert was abridged a bit to fit into the 74 minute time limit of a CD?. I guess they could have still released 2 CDs..but then they might not have been sure of the market for this CD. Atleast most of us IR fans are buying it.

Ram Viswanathan said...

Chinmayi..

When it rains.. it pours..

Hope things are getting back to normal..

Ram

Krithiga said...

I ..er...sort of bloghopped here. And why do you really care what people talk. The ones who know you truly won't 'talk' of such things. And that's what matters. Why should you really bother what the peeping Toms and hearing Harrys think of you? As you say it's YOUR life and you have every right to live it the way you want to, as long it's harmless to people. Keep doing the good work. Cheers!

And BSNL, yeah the technical trouble will last for 2 days then be solved. No, I'm not from BSNL but have experienced that too often :)

Balaji said...

first time here... guess i'll just say 'ditto' to what Krithika said since she's said what i wanted to say but in a much better way :-)

Ganesh said...

Folks
check out my blog
there is really new info about Illayaraja's old song
you will be surprised believe me!!

Shiva said...

Iam not sure that the issues are any different for boys anyways.. Yes, of course, it is visible & more common for girls, but I dont think it will be that drastically different if you were a boy either.

indolentcreature said...

wow ! my fav teacher was UP ma'am. She was simply amazing, wasnt she? I would like to think that she and yasas were my role models/inspiration to develop my English...

Teshu said...

Two years on, do you still worry about what others think, what society thinks, whenever you do something?

I remember a celebrity stayed at my house for a few days in London when she was there for the premier of her movie. We were talking late in the night and she said "I envy you Maltesh.. the fact that you can go and eat a pani puri at a road side shop in your bermudas. I can't even step out of the house without proper attire and makeup."

Do you miss those little things in life?