Friday, September 15, 2006

After midnight. Cant see the stars. No matter how hard I try mentally dusting the clouds away for a little wink of a star.
I smell rain. I see the St Thomas mount in the horizon of my vision. And a lone plane takes off. Starting off to take the journey into rain filled clouds, to pierce them first. To get bathed in the freshest water ever made, first. Its an ethereal feeling to fly past rain clouds. I have wondered what it would be like to be outside rather inside the aircraft.
Thunder booms. Sounds as if its announcing to the world to get ready for a bath. "Come on get yourselves a shower!!.." And then Lights.. The camera in my eye rolls. And then its action. The air is washed first and then everything around slowly takes in the shower. The breeze moves the branches. Like a mother bathing a kid. All that is of nature seems alive. Awake. Fresh. Only the lifeless edifices stand still. Placidly taking in the rain. For it to find its own way down. I think I see colours in the sky.. Several riotous hues. Floating about.. Everything vanishes. All I can see is the sky. The clouds move away by themselves, like curtains parting in no particular fashion. Actually like cotton candy dissolving in the mouth. Not knowing how it went to nothing. To leave a glorious dark shade of blue. One star after another winks at me. Like its smiling at me. Like its beckoning me to see something beyond. I am filled with wonder perhaps. Curiosity perhaps. The colours still dance about me.. I take a dive into nothingness. And its wonderful. Sometimes I am glad there is darkness. Of pitch black. Of your adjusting to nothing in the darkness. How else do you know the splendour of a single beam of light piercing in. Like a beam sent from the heavens above. Making it seem as if there is no end to that beam and no beginning. There is nothing more wonderful than the night sky. If not for the darkness, how does one understand the beauty there? Sometimes to appreciate the stars, you got to appreciate the darkness that surround them. To perceive the twinkle. Several times looking at the sky gives me a feeling of elation. Of something being caught in the base of the throat and not dislodging. An emotion nonpareil. At times like this you feel like you are experiencing what love is. And when it overcomes you and manifests into a drop of tear that rolls down the corner of your eye, meandering down to your jaw bone becoming nothing.. You feel bliss somewhere.
Sometimes you wonder why cant everyone be One. But I got the answer some days back. To experience the oneness you need to separate. Go through the pangs of separation to understand what joy it is to be one with everything else in the world. In a way, to feel the pangs of separation is a joy in itself.

4 comments:

Bala said...

Chinmayi,

Nice write up. You had enjoyed the lightning, rain and all the nature's gifts to us. Nature is the best de-stresser. According to me love comes from within. Everyone cannot be one. As far as I am concerned each person is unique. Each person has good and bad qualities. That is the beauty of life. In fact I like the Vellai Pookkal song in Kannaththil Muthamittal. Beautiful lyrics depicting the nature(in turn referring to the plight of the Srilankan tamils).

vijay said...

Hey
Neat post. I've had similar experiences myself, doing nothing, staring at the night sky. This is something which makes you wonder about the infinitesimal probability of the formation of the earth with just the right conditionas for our existence. And when I think of that, the only answer I get is : God. For nothing within our comprehension can explain the beauty of the world around us but the acceptance of an all pervading superpower.

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

Its interesting to see you got a parallel on clouds very similar to mine:

Since i had no flight trip in memory when i flew this time, it was nice to see the clouds below one for a change. They looked like mountains of cotton candy at times, and at times like the ice-bergs of the antartic, and when the sun shone on them they looked like the freezers in our refridgerators.

Also,
"...of elation. Of something being caught in the base of the throat and not dislodging."

When one writes in that manner, it usually implies the latter sentence is an elaboration on the first, ie, somethind stuck in your throat and not dislodging gives a feeling of elation! :)

I should have thought rather that it gives a feeling of terror! Of the air banging on the windpipe, as if it were trying to burst its way through!

My last two sentences were also meant to quitely illustrate the usage :D

However, nit-picking apart, you write very well!

A talented singer, and a budding writer, you might be the reason for quite a few people around you disbelieving in God's fairness! :)

Well, good luck!

Vijay Krishnan said...

Very true Chinmayi. Nature turns out to be an outlet at times when we feel depressed. Beach side walk, an Evening on the terrace, window side travelling either inj train or but enjoying the relative velocity( ha ha too technical..wat to do using my engineering for this atleast) and few more will definitely give a good change of mind. enjoy all your four dimensions (X,Y,Z and Time)