Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I fall, I fly. My skin is dry and all that I can do is just be led. I no longer have a free will. I have been stuck all my life, not able to go anywhere, do what I want to. Then one fine day, I decided to break away. To run away. To fly away. That I did. I had a companion. I didn't know where to go, How to go, since I had never been on my own. But now I was free. My companion told me where to go. And I did. I skipped around, sometimes sat for a while at one place. And then my friend told me about another beautiful place, I started my journey again. Thus I traveled. I saw lakes, I saw forests, I saw the city, I saw people, I saw houses, I saw homes, I saw buildings and I saw edifices. Sometimes I almost ran into some people. But my friend helped me. He was there all the time. To guide me and to lift me up. And I was glad that I was in his constant care. I wound through new paths..

Then one day, I came to a park. Early morning. It was still slightly cold. And it was windy. It didn't bother me. I have been so happy for a while now that every time I moved, I felt as if my feet never touched the ground. My friend also seemed very energetic today. As I settled myself under a tree, so did my friend. We lapsed into a companionable silence. And watched as one by one, people slowly left the park. Kids and ladies and men. After a while I saw a girl. She looked pale and listless. I couldn't help but look at her. She had a distance look in her eyes. And she seemed to look at nothing in particular. Soon she was the only one left, and she didn't show any signs of leaving. It was my friend and I and that girl. She sat along on the bench, her hands on her lap. Her hair undone. I thought she had beautiful hair. Long and dark. My friend was looking at her too, but he seemed to be knowing why she was here. He smiled at me. We got up, and we went closer. She had sad eyes. She looked sad. And she was crying. Her face was all flushed.
Her sobs were gut wrenching, after a while she was almost gasping for air. Then she stilled for a while. My friend said he had seen several people like that, who came to the park, looking for solitude, looking to be alone looking to cry. He thought she was mourning the loss of something or someone. I knew what it was to be attached. To not be free. To be as if you are almost chained to the people around you. But now I was free. I know no attachment. I am not bound. Its liberating.
I went round to her and sat by her side. But it was almost as if I didn't exist at all. I watched her. She cried and cried and cried. My friend was watching her too. I rose, and I wiped her tear. She kept quiet, she didn't turn or look or want to know who wiped her tear. And then, I suddenly felt very heavy. I felt weighed down. I couldn't bear it. I lay down and I couldn't get up. And slowly the life ebbed out of me. Whatever that was left. I was now going back to where I came from. I knew that I would not see my friend again. But maybe some other time. I loved him deeply. But ours was an unlikely match. He never stayed at one place too long. My face was wet. With my own tears. I would miss him terribly. He smiled at me. It was difficult to describe was kind it was. But he knew perhaps what I was going through. He stayed with me as until I became nothing. Until I was naught. He got up and quietly left. He had to meet several others like me.
For this is the story of a leaf, that broke off from its tree, and was taken along by the wind, with whom she fell in love. She had found love though fleeting. It was never to be.
And she had been the leaf that wiped a tear. And she had been. And she had.

10 comments:

Dawn said...

Nice prediction of feeling and emotion from a leaf's perspective!!!

Keep writing
Cheers

sakshi said...

Chinmayi ,
Nice post... Just when i think i have forgotten all about richard bach (and his writings) i stumble onto something like this and all the thoughts in his book return to me.

If that leaf in your post is alive and i happpen to meet her in some alternate world (if not in this world) then this is what i would say to her --

You have no birthday because you have always lived; you were never born, and never will die. You are not the child of the people you call mother and father, but their fellow-adventurer on a bright journey to understand the things that are.
Fly free and happy beyond birthdays and across forever, and we'll meet now and then when we wish, in the midst of the one celebration that never can end
- Richard Bach in Bridge across forever

sakshi said...

Chinmayi ,
Nice post... Just when i think i have forgotten all about richard bach (and his writings) i stumble onto something like this and all the thoughts in his book return to me.

If that leaf in your post is alive and i happpen to meet her in some alternate world (if not in this world) then this is what i would say to her --

You have no birthday because you have always lived; you were never born, and never will die. You are not the child of the people you call mother and father, but their fellow-adventurer on a bright journey to understand the things that are.
Fly free and happy beyond birthdays and across forever, and we'll meet now and then when we wish, in the midst of the one celebration that never can end
- Richard Bach in Bridge across forever

sakshi said...

Chinmayi ,
Nice post... Just when i think i have forgotten all about richard bach (and his writings) i stumble onto something like this and all the thoughts in his book return to me.

If that leaf in your post is alive and i happpen to meet her in some alternate world (if not in this world) then this is what i would say to her --

You have no birthday because you have always lived; you were never born, and never will die. You are not the child of the people you call mother and father, but their fellow-adventurer on a bright journey to understand the things that are.
Fly free and happy beyond birthdays and across forever, and we'll meet now and then when we wish, in the midst of the one celebration that never can end
- Richard Bach in Bridge across forever

Karthik Murali said...

this post is definitely rated one of the best ,which u have written so far.
and u seem to be interested in leaves ,trees and winds.quite a nature lover are u?u wrote tis post while sitting and wondering at a park?
am not able to fathom how u can manage a lot of things at once(singing,rj ing,writing enchanting,illuminating and "feel wonderful" articles.)
good luck.

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

Your writing suggests the leaf was dependant on the wind, and that is hardly what it is like to be free. Its just slavery to a new master.

Sriram said...

Hmm... Somehow, I can relate to it a lot.

Yuva said...

hm...
There is no greater sacrifice,
Then the life of a Leaf.
It grows, it gives, it produces life.
The only reward, sorrow and grief.
The leaf then begins to carry out its purpose
But do not be sad and not mourn.
Being moved by the wind, falling gently to ground,
Is to be closer to heaven then we ever know.

Yuva said...

and remains me lynn smith word's

"Autumn is so beautiful.
Summer came to an end
How do I know? Here comes the wind.
All the leaves are falling down...
Rain, silver and clean comes calling.
I can see the branches
Twist and bend.
I am just a leaf
And I shouldn't mind...
But once off my tree
It's so hard to find...
Somewhere else to call my home...
I feel so alone...
Guess I can just go and rest
By the great mountain of stone.
Autumn is my favorite time of year
Because I am admired and I turn to gold.
And since summer's so hot and I dry up fast,
I prefer the cold.
I love the rain as it patters upon my tree,
And when the wind uproots me
I sail free!
I can roll along the meadows
Or slip down along the street,
Stay around long enough
To hear the autumn rain's beat.
What becomes of me
At autumn's untimely end?
I fly away, fly away
Awhirl in autumn's wind!

subbi said...

Simply beautiful!u write as beautiful as u sing!