Wednesday, June 06, 2007

And this is going to be an outpouring of something that I have gotten used to hearing and remained silent so far
I have mentioned several times, that I have had a closed upbringing. My childhood was more like a Gurukula with Mom and I, and a lot of time going in her teaching me. I did not go about playing in the streets or the like and wasn't much into school sports except throwball, which I gave up because the screaming, shouting and the dust was affecting my voice. I enjoyed it while it lasted and I clearly had better things to do.
The singer that I am, The voice that is heard across countries and the songs that I have gotten to sing, all the versatility that people come to laud me for is because of the contribution of one person, and one lady alone, who decided to be the wax that makes the candle to make me the light. She gave up a very lucrative career opportunity that came in the West because she needed to give me the upbringing and musical input that can only happen in Indian climes. And she gave up being a researcher and a documentary film maker, when everything was culminating for her, because she saw that I could evolve into a good musician. And one of the biggest investments anyone can do, and no one really cares for once the investment has been made, is time. She gave me the prime of her life.
And now that I am a somebody, and since she is my Guru and a mother, I refer to her as 'amma'. Not 'Guru - ji'.
Whenever I quote saying that I have learnt this from her, she used to teach me this; I immediately get messages or retorts saying I talk too much about my mother. After a point in time mom asked me to eschew mentioning her in the media.
I have followed it for a while now. Ironically even today people ask me who I have learned from.
Why is it that I cant talk about a Mother and a Guru? Why is it that it singing my mother's praises is "wrong"? And I have heard this a lot - "amma puranam"??!
If you learn from a Guru outside and fail to mention their names in any of your interviews, you had it. Anyone who knows anything about classical music knows what I am talking about.
And she is my reference point most of the times, and when I have to remember something that she has told me in her numerous classes to me, what should I say ? "Oh I have heard this... I have gleaned that.... I have read... " without citing a source? So what if the source is mom? She is usually my only source.
In my life there have been two learning centres, one has been my own home, and the other has been Rahman Sir's studio, which I have mentioned in my posts earlier.
I go into overdrive whenever I hear comments on how I should avoid talking about mom, and have to stop myself from lashing out.
I wonder why this mindset happens in people that people who have become a known figure should not mention their families? For Goodness sake, anyone who is a someone is because the family members have given up on a lot of things, sacrificed a lot. Even in Super Singer Junior, the parents of the children, work Overtime to compensate for the days-off they take on shoot schedules as the shoots don't happen on holidays or weekends.
My Mom is what makes my family, runs after my things, keeps things in place, cooks and keeps the home in tip-top shape, manages my shoot schedules, costumes, talks to umpteen people with regard to interviews, recordings, concerts visas and wotnots, inspite of being a chronic slip disc patient. And though all these comments about my quoting her bothers me a lot, there is nothing much than I can do that blog about it. Thank God for blogs, and for people who read this kutti space. *Sigh* and *Pissed off*

16 comments:

arun said...

A salute to your mom, on your behalf.

SHEETAL AMBAR said...

I dun think u should be deprived of ur respect and gratitude u show ur mum ! If someone deserves all that , its definately ur mum chinmayi.. Ive read ur blog time to time ! And i have evn told My mum about how much u respect ur mum ! Ur a daughter any mother would pray to get ! And i think u've been paired with a similiar soul to support u ! Both of ull support each other in every way ! If ppl cant take u talking about UR MUM then its their lose in knowing about such a wonderful soul ! And even to me, My mum is my inspiration into singing thou she isnt classically trained.... So its onli right to speak abt my mum as my inspiration and support !Even in my blog ive written so much abt my mum ! If it wasnt for ur mum's sacrifices and determination , The world wouldnt have known chinmayi as a versatile singer today ! So continue talking and writing about ur mum ! Im sure genuinely sweet ppl would wanna read abt her !

Urs Musically ,
Sheetal Ambar !

Vijay Krishnan said...

Hi Chinmayi,
God has gifted us an important sense, the sense of hearing and we are bestowed two organs to function for that. Remember TWO, one for taking in and another for leaving out wht others say something bad. Shun those people who tell like that. Few idiots dont know about the struggle your mother have faced in upbringing you as i know how my mom had faced her hard days after my father's demise.

Parthi said...

i am really appreciative towards your mother for finding this talent in you and helped you groom it in every part of the process and made you who are today.. how many parents just shun their child's dreams when the child says anything other than becoming a doctor or an engineer and the real human inside that child is completely killed! its pathetic...but thats how most of the south Asian society is made out of..but i am really happy your mother didnt make that mistake and made the chinamyee we all like and idolize today!

Sriram said...

U r cool.

koushik venkatesan said...

Chinmayi, I have read a lot of your inetrviews where you talk about your mother. It's great that you do that including this recent blog.It does not get boring at all. If not for you, the sacrifices your mother has made would not be known to this world. If not for the love and sacrifice of mothers around the world, the world might be in more chaos than what it is now. The love and sacrifice of one mother can even light up a million lives.
I am sure you will reach even greater heights because of this sense of gratitude and love for your mother.

Chinmayi said...

to the 6 people who have commented here and the umpteen who empathize, thanks a ton. I am glad someone understands

The Black King said...

Wow... all kudos to your mom. This post would have made a lovely Mothers' Day gift.

Musically Me said...

Hey chinmayi,

what your mom has done for you is the most beautiful thing any mom can do and i think you can keep talking about her for the rest of your life if you want to.. i kinda felt bad when i read about the comment....

Deepak Krishnan said...

Hey Chinmayi

Don't bother about anyone commenting about what you have said. It's your interview/moment under the sun; you are entitled to acknowledge anyone you want.

Chinmayi said...

@blogeswari: I dont understand the criticisms you are talking about. I have searched all the comments you have made, published and unpublished. I don't find anything on the lines of this. And I cannot publish your comments on Co-Artistes, because to publish them, also means I endorse it in a way. I usually respond to criticism via EMail. Since you are anonymous, I can't help it.

AYTIDA said...

Kudos to you mom. I think she has been extremely selfless and did the best for you.... the very definition of "mother"

I think there are a lot of people who keep commenting on unnecessary things.... i can't understand why people don't like you mentioning your Mom in interviews... see no logic in it!

Bhavani raju said...

Hi,
First of all i dunno if i could address u by ur name.I want u to know that u've inspired me a lot mainly bcoz of the love and respect u show towards ur mom.Infact i started blogging only today and that's after learning from the newspaper that ur a blogger.
Do continue ur good work & kudos to ur mom(and to mother's all over the world for that matter!)

Yuva said...

I don't think any rational human being will diff those views-- anyone, everyone.. but not mentioning thanks is bez its too very obvious to mention.. 'I exist because you do' and that none will or can dispute .

vidhya said...

After a long time read your blog. I think any child who is 'human' in their feelings will appreciate what their moms do for them. I'm what I'm because of my parents and especially my mom. And in your case, she had to handle everything on her own to bring you up to this level.

Please dont worry about heartless people in the world.

Anonymous said...

Hi chinmayi

Please dont bother about those comments... ideally everyone of us have to thank our moms for whta they have done and what theya re doing for us...

unfortunately people in our society have this attitude of not revealing their love,affection and the same in public and that is the reason that you are getting such comments... dont bother about such things in life... after all it is your life and you have to live it as you like and not as what other want it to be... :)