Friday, July 13, 2007

Of late there have been people who have gone all out to say that I can't sing to save my life and I should not have sung Sahana and that I should try and learn to sing, especially in beeped out words and the like. Why am I writing about it? Because I am now wondering why someone would be so vocative in conveying something of distaste. Have things always been this way with people over the years, or is it just that, say in the past 20 years or so people have become highly rude in conveying their dislike to certain things? Have we lost the art of being tactful?
In some cases, the critics on these media have told me, that they write to me in such a manner, only to elicit a response from me.
Just out of curiosity, how well do we remember the person who writes in to us like that? How do we associate with them? Good feeling? Squirmy feeling?
Why is it that we have to be aggressive in putting forth our views? Is it not the conviction in our thoughts and the belief in what we say that makes them communicated to the subject and not aggression? Is it not a poor substitute because we believe that we might not get the expected response from the target?
Have politeness and basic acts of courtesy gone down the drain? What would be the best way to express dislike and distaste to anything?
I still have not come to the state where rudeness towards me doesn't affect me. Probably I ll learn in a few years.
I got a comment from a certain lady in the past couple of days that I have to learn to sing esp with regard to Sahana, and in the turn off-s section in her profile, no points for guessing - rudeness.
Brings me to what has been communicated for a decade or so in every form. That people no longer want to give but want to receive all the time. And the desire to have excellent fruits from the seeds of hate. How in the universe is that going to happen? Not to mention, the lack of tolerance.
When someone is rude to me, should I remain quiet? Should I retort? Should I smile and go? I am told to feel stronger, and these are lessons to that effect.. Actually the time that I spend learning how to feel stronger on such issues, I 'd rather do something more productive, something better than come-back skills.
When I go through the archives of my earlier posts, I see how things have changed in my perception. And somewhere down in time, when I look back upon this post, I ll probably have my own answers to the questions here...

33 comments:

Sagaro said...

Jab jab log tumhare khilaf bolne lage samjho taraki kar rahe ho

Incidentally you sang the song for this movie too...

Selvam said...

Chinmayi, you seem like an early bird. Cool.

Your feelings are very similar to what I had experienced in the past. As long as a successful person is surrounded only by blood relations (exceptions: siblings), that person is often showered with compliments and seldom do they face criticisms. Even the criticisms are not of the "rude" variety. Near-aged siblings are a different story.

So when such a talented person achieves success amidst the general public, they are observed upon by 3 broad catagories of people. The first kind looks at the positive aspects and praise them with kind words and gestures. The second kind truely believe that the person could do better, if they put in more effort, and offer constructive criticisms - straight-out or subtle. And the last kind is just jealous of the person's success. Such jealousy may be expressed through angry words and actions, or they just drift away.

As we age, we learn to identify the #2s from #3s. Obviously, the easy way to deal with #2 is rationally analyze their point of view and adopt appropriate suggestions. And, #3 can be easily dealt if the person is not a part of our day-to-day life - just ignore them and move on. But if they are a significant part of our life, it's a challenge.

Having had many siblings have helped me out a ton - after all, they were my biggest straigtht-out critics when we were young.

Good Luck,

Selvam.

P.S. You are a deep-thinker and a good writer. Kudos ...

Vijay said...

1) After a decent growth, if nobody says negative comments on u, surely there is some mistake!

2)when hearing such comments, just act deaf!, like what Rajini said in some function recently.

subragops java said...

Stones and Sticks are thrown only at fruit bearing trees.......

Keep doing great things...

Karthik Murali said...

i am extremely surprised by this post for various reasons ......
cos all around me including friends,relatives etc keep saying only thing ..
they said,u started with a brilliant song like kmi and now u have reached the peak with Sahana......

A person who doesnt know abt art , will call The MonaLisa ,ugly.....

The persons who have criticised u
certainly lacks of art and skill in both music as well as choice of words.............
Theres one more thing , people who desire infamous fame ,tries attacking famous people
(similar to some insane guy filing a case to ban sivaji)
When u go at the end of the dunnel ,u'll jus laugh at it, saying it was yet another dark thing...
Good luck and hell with those so called critics..

venk said...

You are too good to get bogged down be these comments. u have got thousands or maybe millions of compliments & i´m sure only a small amount of criticism. pls do realize that the mind always clings to the negative. if somebody has given u hundred compliments & just one criticism, ur mind will automatically forget all the compliments & think only abt that 1 single criticism.so, pls realize that and instead care for all your well wishers more and produce further good work.
cheers,
kaushik

Abhimanyu said...

That is so very correct! These days, being arrogant and rude is considered "cool"!

Anyway, we all know how good you are and how hard you've worked (and are working). So, just try and ignore such rude behaviour. I think that's pretty much the best way to handle such people and situations.

Priya said...

It is really hard to identiy from the Song that u have sung ...
May be ur voice lacks that uniqueness ...

Nazreen said...

Like u've said in ur post,people deliberately give u comments like that only to evoke ur response which they crave for, whatever be it..They'd rather give u a negative comment to elicit a response from u..N later they r satisfied with the attention they receive..So u needn't give a damn to any of it and jus live life the way u think is right..Coz there r several well wishers out there,who r really happy to see u scale great heights at an early stage in ur career, ur mom topping the list!!!U sure deserve something great in the future for all the courage and confidence u have..Keep up the excellent work!!!There r millions(leave alone the jealous ones) waitin to see u achieve great things in the future...Good luck!

Kamal said...

Remember, it is very easy to criticise than to appreciate. But let us do the tough job.

Dont get pulled down by criticisms. Some criticisms have meaning and show real interest, but some of them are not worth mulling about.

Again, the same applies to praise. Some may praise you, just to flatter you. Some may praise you because you really did a good job. So, dont take praise also at its face value.

To a common man like me, you did a good job in Sahana song. And, your multi-personality (multiple talents) is something that we all should appreciate. All the best.

Arun said...

Chinmayi:
I started reading your blog few weeks ago. I just love it and look at your blog everyday for a new post. Whoever made those comments is probably jealous, untalented, and a bathroom singer. Maybe you should post those comments and people actually can respond to every single criticism.

Pradeep said...

Hi

I think this is the time for u to learn from critics.

Its simple,when u go to a shop and when u are back at the paying counter, you only pay for what u had selected and the rest are going to remain in the shop and you actually donot require it now.

U can apply the same logic.It is defenitely good to listen to the critics but take only what you want or for which critic you are going to start a good new effort.

You are an upcoming famous singer and no wonder one day you will also have some nick name similar to what Chitra has.So when many expect you to reach that stage I dunno y u r so much concentrating on the critics.

After all u sang that superhit song!!!

Bye

Pradeep.R

Anonymous said...

Isn't there some proverb in Tamil for this? "Kaancha Maramthaan Kalladi Padum"? Don't get swayed by 'vayitherichal' parties:-) There are enough out there who just say things for the sake of saying...probably want the attention.

Considering that musicians who probably are more well-versed than common listeners by 100 times are praising your work, why be bothered?

-kajan

Anonymous said...

I don't know if you are digging for compliments here - but if you are, it is perfectly fine as you entirely deserve it. You are talented, come across as cerebral, exhibit great work ethics and have a pretty head on firm shoulders. What you could do without though is the look-ma-I'm-so-talented-but these-people-are-so-mean-to-me attitude.

- A well wisher

tarakeshwar said...

this will always happen to ppl who do some good job(r handle a big job) at n young age... which is not the normal case... so the best thing for u to do is to understand the fact that you are creating ripples among the ppl which is actually very good news!!

ILA(a)இளா said...

it is common for all celebs. Criticism reach the people as usual and as it is raised. There are lot many people like me, silently appreciating on performance. I suggest, you should learn how to avoid these kind of criticism. Didnt Bush, ARR get criticised? Cheers Chin

Drea said...

Who ever said that is CRAZYY!!!!
omg.... your voice is so nice, and your singing influenced me to take singing lessons. You did very well in Sahana!

Chinmayi said...

wellwisher: HI, I don't blog to dig for compliments.. My mom is the bulldozer at home making sure that I maintain my head on my shoulders.. and definitely this has nothing to do with people being mean.. everyone faces a set of mean people, and naturally I have met/ keep meeting my set. I just used it as a base to ask other questions.

Chinmayi said...

sagaro: yep remembered that one! thanks!
selvam: good one.. shall remember tht
vijay: kewl thalaivaa!
thanks java
priya: possible :)
nazreen..: thanks
anonymous: assumptions.. how do you know that I dont have one? :D
arun: thanks boss...
pradeep: thanks!
kajan: I care for criticism, constructive ones. I was only upset with the language used .. anyway :)
anonymous: Professional voices are advised not to hum unnecessarily. FYI
drea: thanks :) am glad you are taking lessons.. all the very best
tarakesh, Ila: hmm :)
abhimanyu.. I second that.. and some people get paid to be rude :)

Hari said...

" when hearing such comments, just act deaf! "

no sorry i disagree with thalaivar for once. i would argue back because staying deaf just proves that you agree to their criticms and you have rewarded some vague remarks which really is a blatant demonstration of arrogance.

having said that, you canno't always win. no amount of talk will stand a match with the amount of arrogance fueled in to create their opinion. you need to know when to raise the middle finger (not suggesting you do that) and when to just smile and go =)

"Actually the time that I spend learning how to feel stronger on such issues,"

no it would be a waste of time especially when someone expressing criticisms combined with rudeness. if they have any plans to do you any good there will be no need to use beeped out words.

i don't have a P.H.D in Singing but i can tell you your voice is amazing!

Priya Sivan said...

I have been regularly watching Airtel Junior. Vijay TV has done well in digging up the talents of these youngsters. As you rightly said, you wont know what to expect from children. I liked Balasarangan saying "wild card round irukke?" when he was eliminated.It showed how positive these kids are! There was no flaw in what you did except in one or two occasions where you could have controlled your open voice :) Ignore insulting comments, and carry on :)

Jawahar R said...

The post would tempt anyone to give you an appreciation/compliment to make you feel better.
As Hari said, we have to be dumb (and what else to do ;)) but should seriously think is that comment making a point?
And giving a comment of rude terms needs to be changed and you could excuse as it's a matter of maturity.
Smile everyone. Avvalavuthaan :)

Gopalakrishnan said...

I think as somebody told you, you have a great voice (I liked the song you sung for Kangalal Kaithu Sei in particular), but I even feel that every song's output shows a different voice from you - Well, positive side of that is a music director does not need to find somebody else for a new voice!!

And I feel one way of dealing with such criticism is to get to know from the "facts" and THE particular point where you seem to be going wrong for them - who knows, that they really have a point but have put it in the stupidest way possible.

meanwhile, I am not sure of the entire Archanai given to you :) so sorry if u feel i am preachy...

Aparna said...

Chinmayi:

You've a fabulous voice...I've been hearing your songs, but I never connected the face with the voice and it was only recently that I realized that the person conducting ASSJ was you! Bit surprised initially as you come across (in ASSJ) as having a more western voice and then we find you singing a lovely number like Sahana. That is some range in your voice! Don't mind people that are rude to your face...there will always be those that find your voice (and you) charming. For more of a pep, check out what is said about you in - http://desipundit.com/baradwajrangan/category/tamil-film-music-review/

Sasi said...

Chinmayi,

I just happened to listen to the Sahana song. You have a great voice and the range you have showed in that number is amazing. Criticism follows popularity like an evil twin, I think you should take this in stride and move on. Keep up the good work and give us more numbers like Sahana. Good luck !!

Anonymous said...

Chinmayi, From the time i am watching super singer junior, i have become a big fan of you, for the way you do compiring, the way you dress, the politeness in you.. I understand what you are going through.. and i dont really think you should worry about such stupid comments. it doesnt really make sense to hear such comments for a song so nicely sung, you have so much variation in your voice that i could not even make out that you were the singer. Keep up the good work!!

Rathi.

Anonymous said...

hi ChinChin
this name spelt like chinese but u r too good to get criticized. one thing YOU CANNOT SATISFY EVERYONE PERIOD. So, be COOOOOOOOOOL!!!
Criticisms, constructive or destructive, sometimes are good so that we are not dragged into the HotHead stage.. So, try to be cool... U R wonderful, I shd say after hearing Sahana... and watched ASSJ. I do have a comment here sometimes you shout and the words cannot be understood but that is OK to compere ASSJ..
best wishes

kanna

Vasanthan said...

For every action there is a reaction. you will get good response as well as bad ones but its the bad ones that the human mind takes much notice. that is natural. But if u take the criticisms as stepping stones and keep on doing what you do best and eventually and definitely will silence the critics.

Your fan always,
Vasanthan

Chitra said...

Chinmayi: IGNORE and keep singing. You have a fab voice.

Ravi said...

Sahana song was crafted brilliantly and was performed very nice. I dont understand to what level of expectation a person who had said about that. There are more praises than criticism to you for this song I guess. and those criticism can be easily ignored. Having sung for MDs like AR Rahman and many more it just takes more than a fortune; which you are bestowed with.
A sincere congratulations & wishes from a humble fan. I was under an impression that u were awarded the national award for KMI and learn that was untrue. However wish you all the best & keep going. Ever song you have sung was unique and pls continue to be new every time so that we have lots to be surprised with.

Sriram said...

is this blog entry with reference to some one i know ..... ?????

Chinmayi said...

anonymous: what?? which side.. ? and what stories? my god..anonymous an vague!

Chinmayi said...

ai! vaanga .. ongalathan edhir paarthen!