Friday, January 11, 2008

Callers and their Questions

My show on Aahaa FM 91.9 has a question hour every day and this is somehow my way of knowing things from the people, their mindset and what makes them tick. The other day mom and I had an incident at the Shell petrol station we haunt and somehow one of the men who had come to fuel up decided to act funny. Mom eventually asked what his problem was and in a while she knew he was inebriated. Eventually the guy swore to destroy our car and whatnot, and when eventually mom collected herself to call the police, the guy rode away, not before ramming into mom before that. Of course I was given strict orders not to get out, though the guy eventually had a problem with me "nodding my head". Apparently women are not supposed to nod their head according to him. What struck us was that the employees of Shell did not care to protect the interests of their customers and the other 30-40 people just stood and watched. Thats when we realized that apathy is rampant. I spoke about the issue on radio the next day, explaining the issue briefly and that it had happened to us, where there several people who called in to give their views on women and their dressing. Notably there were very few lady callers. One of the men who called in, said women should stay at home. Much like the police guy in Bombay who said something on the lines of women should stay at home if they don't want to be subject to sexual harassment (this is with reference to the Mumbai incident on New Year's eve).

I would say that even otherwise, within families and friends, we have become too busy to care for people known to us, or check on them once in a while, especially when we know that someone is seriously unwell. I wonder why. Postponing? Maybe. Why is it that people find it uncomfortable to show that they care? As time goes caring might be dead gone and extinct as the dodo.

Anyway, I had this caller today who had already spoken on air, and then she called back, saying Hi I have already spoken on air, but you promised me that you wont cut your hair. I want to know whether you have stuck to your word. For a moment there, I was flummoxed. I had a sort of a makeover, though the length of my hair is almost intact, the look is different. Just wanted to give it a shot. And it looks pretty good I'd say. And anyway, I had to own up and say, hey I am sorry but I had a makeover but it will grow back. She sounded pretty upset, angry even that I had cut my hair. Couldn't help being tickled. And this feeling, that there is someone out there other than my mom who will be upset if I do cut my hair :)

20 comments:

JUJUBEE said...

Well Well..that's India for you even in this 21st century!

M A L E D O M I N A T E D !!!

I feel sorry for what happened to you and your mom. Take care

I know a lot of people would cry wolf now ! ( Let them first convict the molesters in Bombay and other cities )

King said...

Would look into this issue in a different way, Having issues .. even if a person gets into an accident people don't want to give a hand, in this case even you did not come out to help ur mom. So every person thinks that help others in need is not so important and they have business to mind. So it should be taught from childhood for people or changing intention is hard.

maruthu said...

really unfortuante incident happened..celebrity girl itself problems like that mns..what abt ordinary public girls....
and truly speaking..i seen east and west of world, generally chennai public is little bid rude than any other

maruthu said...

now ppl care abt the singers hair cut....kuilisai pothumay ,kuil mukam thevaiya.....

Debs said...

:) I really liked ur hair. It was really gorgeous when I saw u on junior supersinger. Why did u cut itttttttt? It gave u a really good look u know. Yes, grow it back to that length again.

Arun Sundar said...

I don't know what exactly happened in Shell petrol bunk. But I'm sure inebriated men are more like people without the left brain. Best way is to ignore them and get away ASAP. As the saying goes, "See dhushtan keep distance!".

And coming to women/men issue, most problems are because of starved and perverted men who run behind women like dogs hanging their tongue out. And some problems are because of women too, who invite problems. I think it is just the way humans are designed. They just can't simply live without problems!

SHEETAL AMBAR said...

//Notably there were very few lady callers. One of the men who called in, said women should stay at home. //

Huh ? What a chauvanistic point of view.. Grrrr !! Hate ppl like that !! Anyways , GO AUNTY for giving it back to that guy !! Hehehe I always knew she would go mean to guys like that !! Hehehe

And You look damn nice with ur new hairstyle.. U actually look like U have a HAIR STYLE akka and not just long strands of straight hair :P !! Like I said before

Kalakure Chinnuz akka
Pudhu Varusham
Pudhu Hairstyle
Pudhu Awards
PRAMAADHAM !! Heheh

Ne said...

Looks like I am finally getting around to posting a comment here. I've been reading ur space for a while, got here through Shreya's blog.
About the issue on how people react to women, in spite of all the awareness and campaigning,advertisements and the like, the mentality of people is never going to change. We can almost 'count' the population who are aware. People like us, do not constitute the 'public' if you know what I mean. Is there a way out of this? It is like a vicious circle. Only if people are willing to change will their children change and will set a thought process in motion through the following generations. In a family, when a male child sees the way his mothers, sisters and women folk are treated, he is 90% more likely to treat his wife and girl child the same way. More than a boy who has seen his mother treated well. This should be instilled at home. But who is going to start this change?

What never fails to baffle me is why men behave this way. If it wasn't for us, they wouldn't exist. Women undergo so much to bring life into this world, what stops them from respecting them? This is a never ending debate and will go on and on.

Btw, in one of your earlier posts, you talked about names, and mispronunciation.In chennai, Neha is NEVER a neha."yaaru pesaradu?? Negha/snega/megha/neka vaa?" I am sick of trying to make people use the 'h'. Coupled with a difficult telugu surname(u must be aware of ur legendary names), the result is very... interesting for my friends to hear. If I can put it that way. Especially in school and college.Attendance was entertainment. *sigh*

chinmayi said...

Hi Chinmayi
uts the same everywhere... i wonder why people are so indifferent..i always remember when i used to get really angry at such incidents when i was a teen(now i jus control my anger) and would want to help or interfere in whats happening evry1 arnd me would(be it friends or ny1) would poke me n ask me to shut up and not invite trouble...it irks me till date!!!
congrats on tere bina being rated the song of the year
happy for u
ur name twin;)

Vassan said...

Dear Chinmayi:

Do they sell " Pepper Spray" in India..?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepper_spray


Get hold of a canister. I was reminding my better half couple of weeks ago to get a new one
since there are plenty of lunatics no matter where You live ;(

There needs to be accountability for people's actions.. next time someone misbehaves, you
can teach them a valuable lesson by putting the spray in use...

Best Wishes..

Anonymous said...

Cowardice and Idiocy seems to be on the rise, as a rule.

Not surprised to read that a crowd stood watching. I would be surprised if anyone behaved otherwise.

-kajan

Anonymous said...

No one cares as long as they are directly affected.

Read an article about a guy who got caught by Police thanks to false info provided by a fone company, the 'Big'Tel. After 60 days of beating, police found out that the accused was innocent. What did he get? Liver problems and not even a 'sorry'. Law says the police officer cannot be punished.

Non of the big news channels cared to report. General public didn't care either, everybody is busy!

Cheer up Chinmayee. Sorry about what happened but atleast you got audience to listen, unlike that soul :)

We are heading back to stone age, I guess.

Vasanthan said...

what the guy did to your mom was verbal threat, and in Singapore you can even charge him for sexual harassment. You are sure to have someone in shell who can prove it and just bring it to the police and eventually the courts. sue him, if u have his license plate number its not too late.
This will serve as a lesson for road bullies. i used to drive a military vehicle and no one dares to even cut my lane.this has never happen to me but, if it did i am not going to let the matter rest.

Chinmayi said...

jujubee: I dont know about total male domination .. but its about those weirdos who are walking about free venting their frustrations
King: I was told by mom not to get out of the car, and I know its best to listen to her sometimes. but I wont be doing it again
maruthu: its not about being a celeb.. In such cases, I am just another girl,. he apparently didnt recognise me
debs: ah well :)
arun sundar: I do not know about the inviting problems thing.. A lot of things are unexplained.. mob fury and wotnot..
sheetal:) hehe Go Girl!
ne: well if we are aware, then the next generation will be more aware... change, though slow, does most definitely happen. Upbringing is the concern of every family member.. what starts out as a ripple might just be quite a wave.. you never know. And Neha .. I can quite imagine!!
chinmayi: thanks!
vassan: Yeah it crossed my mind.. I am going to carry a few and spray quite a bit in every ones eyes who misbehaves on the roads.
Anonymous: please do drop in a mail about this issue.. would like to take it up. thanks
vasanthan: The employees of Shell wouldnt even move a finger and do you think they will come and testify?? I dont think so.

sharan said...

This type of incident happen every part of the India. You people share your thoughts. But most of the people dont tell to his/her family also.

But really we condemn the employees of Shell worst customer service.

Today morning show is really very nice Chinmayi.. Today i spoke to you (Siranthu Pirantha Mozhikalukku Mathiyil Siranthe Pirantha Tamizh Mozhiyal Ungalukku Pongal Nal Vazhthukkal) its nice and memorable to me..

Did you really do my exercise ah..(put your hand up and turn and appreciate you) Then when did you start your writings in Tamil and your Social Service (i think very big dream in your mind ah)

Any way We Pray for your Future..

Finally i share one quote to you.
"IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN?
IF NOT ME THEN WHO?" Remember these words at all the times to move towards your goal...

Natpudan,
Saravanan.

Anonymous said...

Reading my post again, I felt a bit guilty because, it might sound arrogant from an angle.

Please don't get the wrong message. I was only trying to cheer you up :)

Roseate dreams said...

I hate male domination,infact I feel women are more powerful than men as we manage so many things in life,the real burden infact.Men looking down at women makes me feel the tingle of my nerves............ :(

Hey read my blog if at all u get time,I know its just impossible but still putting in a word :P
-Divya

Weirdo!!! said...

Hey... :) I been following ur blogs for quite a while. thot I'd debut my comments on this.

I'd have preferred you get out of the car. A young lady in trouble gets more attention ;) for help. No jokes. In fact it s not jus apathy thats rampant.. also is selfishness and self-centeredness. Like they say.. thanakku vandhaathan valiyum joramum (Fever :p)!!!

One more thing is.. I am actually happy, that someone from your field, is actually expressing the feeling of
"Why is it that people find it uncomfortable to show that they care? As time goes caring might be dead gone and extinct as the dodo."
'publicly'. Thing is ppl at the recieving end of CARE.. take it for granted!!! :)

Take CARE... Have a great CAREer... ;)

Arvind.

P.S. I'm still dumbstruck with ur rendition of THE Kannathil Muthamittal song!!! :) Beautiful. (Especially wen the lines occur the last time in the song..)

Weirdo AGAIN!!! ;) said...

hey.. dont approve this.. jus a suggestion.. I know u'd see this before it appears.. so!!!

Somehow ur voice seems too 'put on' in paadum office ( I dont watch TV much but once a while!!! )

Comparing ur voice on audio... and TV... I'd prefer ur natural voice to this one. Maybe the ppl around have suggested... but.. :) give it a fair thought!!!

Cheers..

vijay said...

Actually mate
its not abt male dominated and stuffs
its just that some ppl try to catch attention
And i personally say chennai is not a good place for expecting humanity
i dare say there wont be anyone to help u even if the situation gets worse
u cud actually get a hockey bat or something like that ;)

MALE DOMINATION has been reduced to 20%, so its not abt that

Anyways Be safe n future (wid some hockey bat in hand)

:)