Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Urdu and callings.

There is a joy in learning something totally new. I am talking of a language again. For years I had been wishing and attempting, in vain to learn the magical, mystical language of Urdu. Finally when I located a teacher, I requested him to teach me. At that time all that he said was Insha Allah. That is one of the most beautiful expressions I have heard. Insha Allah. He did not start teaching me right away. I met him again, gave him my number and reminded him. He smiled and said God willing, soon. It was only after nearly a year of running into him and reminding him time and again that I am serious about learning the language that he was convinced and one beautiful, lovely day a couple of months ago, my relationship with Urdu began.
I was not taught the way we learnt languages in Kindergarten - 'A' 'Aaah'..... But with simple phrases instead. I had to read that and started learning the alphabets and practicing the script on the go. There is a certain surreal feeling, if I may call it that, when I practice the script. And once I finish the homework that I am assigned, looking at what I have written gives me a sense of peace actually. I am wondering why. Usually it so happens that I practice only after the sun has risen high in the sky - but on the side of the earth that is miles away from mine. Time seems to melt away as I curl my fingers, move the pen this way and that trying to imbibe and replicate the art that of the Urdu Script.
I remember the time when I was singing a song for Rahman Sir. I guess it was during the recording of Tere Bina that I saw Gulzar Saab penning down the lyrics of the song. In Urdu. Even when Javed Saab wrote his poetry, it was in Urdu. When I saw the writing unfold from their hands it looked like an ethereal painting. I wished to all the Gods then and longed to be able to read and write the language myself. It was quite a while before my wish was fulfilled.
And now I'm counting my blessings and I revere the book that I hold in my hands.
Talking of beauty.
Have you been able to see the sun rays filtering through the trees in the morning? On my way to the Aahaa FM station, a lot of times I see the games sunlight plays, the tapestry it paints, each one different, each spectacular. On the roads I wind through, from a distance of about 30 metres, maybe a week or so ago, around the time the hands on the clock are on their own rush to make it to 7 o clock, I saw the sunlight flow through the trees tops, meander its way through branches, turn around leaves and finally make its landing on a tarred road, with leaves on them, which themselves had now assumed the colour of that very sunlight which they had probably waved to, smiled to on their greener days. From the distance that I was, it felt as though there was a time lag and nothing else seemed to exist but me and that light. It was like some golden beam, a pathway to peace perhaps, to ... I don't know. What would it be like to close your eyes and just be imagine that you are light? What would it be like to feel as heavy or as beautiful as light? Shimmery, Golden, like creamy silk? Or maybe all these adjectives are just not good enough. That morning it was almost like epiphany. I wished that beam were a pathway to a world that I wish to explore but know not what to expect. A world of tranquility. Or what would it be like to walk on water shimmering like a thousand diamonds and find a huge sun beam there.. and as soon as you place the tip of your big toe on it, you are drawn into .. Well I am looking for a word here .. Liquid Gold? To feel as light as a feather. Or maybe even lighter if that is possible?
There is a search. For that elusive something that I have been unable to name. Unable to place. Unable to even search for. For I don't seem to know that that 'it' is about. If there is one thing I would ask sometimes, is deliverance from the constant seeking. And I guess that would be the end of my road. Probably a key to? The number of questions grow. The number of answers that I have is a big figure. 0. Strange ain't it. That which seems to give all the 1s and 2s of the world infinite power, seems pretty powerless as singular entity. Or is it?
What a post this is. Starting from Urdu and ending with a number.
The call from the unknown, or rather, ironically, the call that is unheard seems the loudest. The noisiest. Insha Allah I will have the answers. How soon is upto the cosmos to decide

20 comments:

dakshin said...

......Its really a great blessing that you have got a master........ wishing you all the best...

Anonymous said...

Reading this, i felt
"The number of questions grow" and 1 such is
"What a post this is" :)-

on a serious note, we(chinmay fans who hang out here) cant be more happy tat you have opened up even more and start blogging more frequentlty (13 posts in may compared to 13 in whole of april! )! this is all we could wish for!
insha allah you find time to keep blogging amidst ur homework!


Cheers,
-Anand

Madhav said...

Well said Anand. I check in daily to see if there is a new post and this month has been great. Almost one everyday. Good going, Chinmayi. Keep the thoughts flowing...

Niagara Falls is simply great and thats one other reason you should have gone to Canada. Its a must see.

Madhav

Ranisha said...

Dumbfounded....
Nice post about the inner journey.

About the number 0, it is not powerless. U can not neglect the 0 when it is with some numbers and u cannot appreciate it when it is above some number. ;)Jokes apart. The number 0 has so many messages inside. It has no beginning and end. I have an admiration for the number 0. Many a time I wish to travel inside 0, ie, the search to know the real me but lost in midway. If u push urself inside 0, ie, nothingness, u will be lost.

I forgot to mention about ur Urdu learning. Ur thirst for languages is unbelievable. Keep going Chin! All the best. al hum dhu lilah!

Please don't post this comment. Just I am conveying my ideas. But ur comment is most welcome.

rathish said...

hey what a melting way of expressing the early morning beauty......... one of the good exaggeration.Hope many people after reading this might try to feel the same the next moringin even though they wud have crossed such situations daily....

On a serious not why dotn we look upon these kinda small thing nowadays... are we gone so busy that we dont even notice the beautiful things around us and we crave for something beautiful....ha ha

btw so nice of ur initiative...keep rocking

Sayanora

Rathish saravanan said...

hey.......what a nicce way of expressign the early morning beauty......

I bet even a late riser somes to see this post will definitely liek to experience the same.

Nice exaggereation........

Did we compeletely forget all the beautiful things around us and still we search & crave for something beautiful and ....

Why dont we notice abt such things even though we pass by those things almost daily...

So nice of u that u took the initiative... i guess one of ur aaha kaaapi club show also handled thses kinda discussion isnt it? chinmayi...

Hi...

Maha said...

Good akka..May you master even more no. of languages..! BTW,are you fluent in speaking Urudu?

Kredite ohne Schufa said...

Best of Luck for you. Thanks for your post and sharing with us.

Kavitha said...

Hi Chinmayi!

I am amazed at the way you have written your thoughts. Keep going!

Take care.

UR FAN JAY said...

Hai chinmayi akka,
I really amazed with ur comparisons to the sunlight.I used to wake up when the sun looks perpedicular to us but,after seeing ur ideas towards sunrays I woke up little bit earlier and stared not towards the suns rays, but directly towards the sun and I had severe pain in my eyes.but I want to give a comparison for what I viewed.The sun,ya''The sun was exactly like a Idly garnished with a very hot Sambhar.I think u r taking something to throw towards me'but what to do,I am not a nice upcoming poetess like u.
Soon we all can see a Urdu poetess.congrats akka''
By budding poetess
uR FAN ''JISHU''

Chitra said...

That is so lovely. Wish you all success !

Anonymous said...

Nice to read your words

God bless you

MMC said...

After coming across your blogsite (from ARR Fans' group), what hooked me to it was not that you're one of my most fav singers, but the powerful way in which you express yourself & your thoughts....Since the time I started reading your blog regularly, I'd been longing for a post like this - the morning ride one....Your style of narration is really unique.... You've been blessed with the power to captivate millions thru your voice as well as your writings.... Looking forward to more such posts...

I dunno if you've done this before - watch the rains, with some soft music in the background....you'll love it...

All the best wishes for your new language lessons....

Manoj

பிரியமுடன்..... said...

வணக்கம்! உருது படிக்கும் கண்களுக்கு தமிழ் படிக்க கசக்கும்! தெரியும் இருந்தாலும் என்னால் உருதில் எழுத முடியாது! இந்த பதிவை பற்றி என்னுடைய கருத்துச் சொல்வதற்கு முன்பு, இதற்கு முந்திய பதிவில் நீங்கள் அனானிமஸ் யாரையோ வசைபாடியிருப்பது தெரிகிறது! அந்த நபர் யார் என்று தெரியவில்லை, ஒருவேலை என் தமிழ் உங்களை ஏதாவாது கஷ்டப்படுத்திவிட்டதோ என்ற அச்சம் என்னுள் எழுந்திருக்கிறது! எனவே ஒரு முடிவெடுத்துவிட்டேன்! எதற்கு வீணாக உங்கள் பிளாக்ஸ்பாட் வந்து அதுவும் தேவையில்லாமல் தமிழில் எழுதி, திட்டுவாங்கிட்டு....இது எனக்கு தேவையா! ஹலோ...இதுதான் என்னுடைய இறுதி கமெண்ட்!
ஆண்டவன் உங்களுக்கு எல்லா வளங்களையும் கொடுக்கட்டும்! வாழ்க வளமுடன், புகழுடன்! நன்றி! வணக்கம்!

sreshta1 said...

Aha Aha Aha What a imagination! Nice expression of the morning glory. Liquid gold? I am ready to sink into that. But if I feel as light as breeze, won't I float? This too feels good! Floating in a ocean of liquid gold. Wow! Chinmayi Ur command over the language is astonishing. I am improving my vocabulary by reading ur posts. :p

sreshta1 said...

Will U please teach me URDHU? Chumma I asked. Namakku Thamizhe thalladum Ithula Urudhu veraya?

jayashree-jishu said...

Hai chinmayi akka,
Hope we all will see a Urdu poetess soon.I think few more languages to learn akka?
jishu
adieu*

Arun Sundar said...

This, I'd rate as u'r best post so far!

Arun said...

First I had a flair to learn all south indian languages.
After reading ur post i have started longing to learn Urdu

Selvam said...

Be honest, who is the lucky muslim boy?

Good luck on your canda trip and concert!!