Thursday, July 31, 2008

Ponder on regrets..

What is it like to have a life without regrets? Does it mean that you keep badgering on something or some situation, someone until you get what you want? How irritating/nice is that?
Is it like going after something that you want even though the ones at the receiving end would not really like to see you around..? Where does irritating begin and a go-getting attitude end.. Or just simply, where does the path on following your dreams end? Does it ever end or does it just transpose to a different path and dream after dream blends into, dissolves into another in a seamless manner?
Does having a life of no regrets mean embarrassments? Making a fool of yourself? Do you find yourself regretting actions in following a "life with no regrets"? Does it happen?
Have you ever wished that you could have probably tried something harder and you could have clinched it...?
What if there are other people involved?
Does having no regrets mean running yourself down..? Or becoming a doormat? What is it like to desperately want something though all logic and everything tells you that its not going to happen the way you want it? Been there? Felt that?
What is right for someone is wrong for another..
There are several times that I wish or maybe, just ponder on whether things can be just black and white. Or maybe that kinda world would be colourless. More than the black and white it is probably the gray that makes life exciting. Confusing. Despairing. And is it the despair and confusion that makes life, LIFE?
Even after pushing your limits, would there ever come a time, when you wish that you could have done things differently? Wouldn't that be a brand of regret by itself?
There comes a time in everyone's life where you feel like a glass of soda. There is bubble after bubble rising up to the top of your conscious mind. And the bubbles dont go pop. They just keep simmering. If that is ever possible. Well simmering bubbles in soda.. Drat.. what a thought..
The problem is the bubbles don't come one by one. Several come at a time. And it becomes impossible to miss any of them. The onslaught rather. Sometimes the intensity is almost like someone is going amuck with a machine gun - only that the firing is from inside you. rat-a-tat-tak-pap and whatever else it sounds like. Pellet after pellet.
On easier times its just extra-strong soda water. You crave for the peace that placidity can bring about. Wait for the bubbles to subside.
Have you tried making a straw stick to the bottom of a glass filled with soda? If you let it go, it will bob up and eventually fall out of the glass, on to the table. With all the unrest within trying to keep your wits about you is a lot like pinning the straw down. Quite an exercise.
Its but a bubble ..once it goes pop, there are going to be no remnants.. But thats the issue. Its like each bubble has a center filled with color fast liquid. The bubble goes pop. It leaves a mark. And each mark is like a snowflake. Unique. Unmatched.
The biggest mark right now is the bubble of no-regrets.
And a lot of times these bubbles make you ask questions to answers that you do not yet know. Murky? You bet.

25 comments:

Arun said...

Nice thought and hurriedly posted. A very good presentation though.

madhu said...

:) Good luck.

again, u've written it really well.

Nimmy said...

nice post, chinmayi. i like all your "introspection" posts...

in this one, i esp like your black n white means colourless metaphor...and your straw-glass analogy...thanks to your education, eh? :-) write on and sing on....and hey, i am jumping around with joy coz airtel super singer is on air again!! :))

Deepa J said...

Sorry, this comment is not related to the post. It's a request for the "Sapthaswarangal" video in which you sang "Theesulavudhe". Can I get access to it, please? I saw somebody sing it in Super Singer and was reminded of your singing it way back. I mean, when I saw the show, I knew you were going to go places, and you have surpassed my beliefs.

Siddarth said...

Hey, quite a few questions up there. :) I find all my life answers in Randy Pausch. (http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo)

Have you heard of him???

jishu said...

hai akka,
U have seen a bottle of soda in a different angle akka...yep! its a great comparision of problems with bubbles.But without bubbles it is not a soda,similarly without problems there is no use of running the life simply in a way that leads us to..(I didn't mean in the way that we should always be with problems,but we should have a parial disappearing bonds
like the bubbles with the problems in which we should achieve our goal.
-jishu

cricket freak said...

hehe... well thats how life is.. everytime i go to a quiz.. most of them i qualify the written elimination round & go on to the next main round .. i am outwitted by the quizzards all the time... When i return by bus .. lissenin to ARR.. Thrz a thought running in my mind .. what if i get into a time machine & rewind to this place & i win it... outclass the quizzards.... but then its not gonna happen.. well...this inspires me to perform again better the next tym... regrets,disappointments are those things which will make u to either make progress in life... or ...... well why to think of the other side of the coin knowing that it isnt of anyhelp.... nice post though.... Well one last question are u the same person who sang in those ARR duets???

Anonymous said...

Over Peter....
thaeleva Kolambiten

Anonymous said...

''ponder on regrets''thoughts from you sound typical like my grnadmother.

Ranisha said...

"What is it like to desperately want something though all logic and everything tells you that its not going to happen the way you want it?"

Yes Chinmayi I believe that one day I will become an important and unavoidable person in ur life. U may think it will never happen. But I believe. I never mind the hurdles and I will break everything. Don't post it this is just for ur information. When I become so, I will show this post to u then.

Kavi said...

Akka...I, in this age itself..many times a day regret of taking CBSE Computer Science while ppl of State Board happily enjoy their lives...Whatever it maybe...My life is really invigorating..and it is known only to me...rather if it does'nt at times,I just think it as a kind of adversity and take it up...Mine and your life may vary seemingly great..Even the way we see the amazing in everyday differ...I am thinking that the world is colourful for just one particular reason that God had a mayhem on what ppl prefered...How many people really live life (I admit that I definitely dont)How to get rid of this 'mechanial' from my mechanical life..Eventhough your thought varies from mine slightly...maybe the pages written by Paulo Coelho sing the answers of all our queries...

HAVE A NICE DAY...

warm regards,

Kavitha.T.Krishna

Porkodi said...

Nice Post..But there isn't a life without regrets... its juz that how the mind takes it either ways...

Chinmayi said...

Sorry Vijay. I am sure, And I know it is otherwise. That word suits probably suits Mallika Sherawat sometimes. Definitely not me.

Chinmayi said...

Anonymous/ranjith: What ever you want to call yourself. This blog is being tracked not just by a sitemeter. Every visitor is tracked. You might want to watch what you say if you dont want to land yourself in trouble. Take care.

Krishnan said...

Hey...good work !! the glass of soda..I can imagine the kind of observation.

BTW..tats the only thing tat I've read of yours coz I really didnt know you are into blogging. I am surprised and glad about the kind of activity you show here.

Well
I searched and got in here..all b'coz of the first 20/30secs of the song "I miss u da" from sakkarakatti by A.R. Rehman. Oh man....the synthesized music n the the way u start singing "yemini yemini I miss you da" was just out of the world... so enchanting,..mysitical...dont know what it means ???? but I can see the involvement
in ur singing...the way u have sung it ...i felt like i was struck by something..

I really would like to speak to u something about it...

anyways..great writing there n I didn’t really know u can write so much, Its like
I’ve already made up my mind to keep visiting this blog.

Krishnan

சுரேகா.. said...

nice post...!

you have presented it an excellent way!

every bubble will break...every trouble also..!
(otherwise we will drink it and get one evvvvvvvvv) :)

Kishore G said...

Every human regrets in their life for one or the other. Otherwise they aren't of this species really.

Vasanthan said...

i tell me teammates beginning of a game. just do your best now. have the best game you ever play, cos in the end we can't have "What If"s

Ff you know you have given your best, there is no reason to regret it.

Balaji Gururajan said...

Modesty holds me from saying "No regrets..." i believe, most of us, won't be regret free of our past.. if not because of action, but rather inaction would taunt our present. Funny part is inaction beyond our control stays in our mind more than ones we could have deliberated on.. call it guilt or selective amnesia.. "if only i had" defines a heart with desire - unsatiable!! thats drives us to not miss such an opportunity in future... the more we miss more aggressive we are.. but at times we do resign to inaction and underplay the failure as inevitable..

Would go-getting hurt? i would say, it depends on how ethical u r.. u would not break ethics no matter how inviting the result is, if u r strong willed! as long as we do not invade another person's boundary, anything is admissible as long as we can clearly review our actions as we would if it were to be someone else and feel our actions do not compromise our self-esteem beyond what we deem admissible...

to build on your analogy, the soda bubbles only when it is opened, we face issues only when we compare ourselves to outside world.. its good to be realistic, but standards that apply to outside worlds cannot apply to ourselves.. we are unique in what we are.. we would not want to compromise on certain things that would severly limit our execution of actions necessary to accomplish.. Also, the priorities we define,competency level that necessiates the amount of work is extremely person dependent.. i'd say, just keep the soda closed :-)
Open it only when you are in a controlled environment - high pressure chamber...


- Balaji


PS-> Its nice to see to drift to abstraction and present it rather lucid than possible.. but please do break into paragraphs and bullets

Kumar.S said...

Hi Chinmayi
You dont need to publish this comment. ... Just a query!
Do you even filter harmless comments from appearing in the blog? If so then it means that this blog is not managed in a true sporting spirit!

Chinmayi said...

KumarS: absolutely .. some comments apparently comes from the scums of the earth, also makes me wonder the kind of upbringing they have, or just what kinda salt they are made of, (Which do no pertain to the posts at all) and I dont think they need to see the light of my day. And I dont feel obliged to publish such comments, sporting or not.. If they want to lambast with the choicest words, they can open a blog and go ahead with that.. Why is that expected out of me?

S.Kumar said...

Hi Chinmayi
I agree with you on publishing such acrimonious and/or irrelevant comment.

Even in the same series of comments earlier, there are a few unrelated general comment, though praising you.

Thanks for your answer that makes me hooked on to your blog.

Chinmayi said...

thanks Kumar: on the note of praises,for every post there are at least ten such super praising comments that dont get published. Apparently I guess the world thinks "celebrities" are all narcisstic eh ? :)

Guru Smaran said...

I'd die of boredom if I ever lived a life without disappointments. Life would be monotonous if everything were all rosy. Also, a good share of disappointments are needed if your successes are to be accentuated. Our biggest and closest-to-heart achievements are those which follow an introspective phase of disappointment/regret after failure.

At the same time, we also have the tendency to brood too much, all the while wondering how thing would have been "if only...". One more thing about our introspective selves is that we construct 'alternate scenes' of the same situation in our minds. When we think "What if...", we actually start visualising ourselves in the same setting, acting out the whole 'scene', only this time, we handle things much more confidently and do better. This whole business of constructing scenes is quite funny, coming to think of it. I don't know why, but this somehow reminds me of those Alternate Takes/Deleted Scenes that get left out of a movie and ultimately find themselves in a DVD's Special Features menu. :)


Soda... bubbles... you should read Haruki Murakami's books. His books abound with observations like this. Norwegian Wood is a good introduction to his work.

bashar said...

excellent thinking....im always go with the thought...life is bubble...but this is something diff...the bubbles have life....
or makes d life...