Thursday, July 31, 2008

Ponder on regrets..

What is it like to have a life without regrets? Does it mean that you keep badgering on something or some situation, someone until you get what you want? How irritating/nice is that?
Is it like going after something that you want even though the ones at the receiving end would not really like to see you around..? Where does irritating begin and a go-getting attitude end.. Or just simply, where does the path on following your dreams end? Does it ever end or does it just transpose to a different path and dream after dream blends into, dissolves into another in a seamless manner?
Does having a life of no regrets mean embarrassments? Making a fool of yourself? Do you find yourself regretting actions in following a "life with no regrets"? Does it happen?
Have you ever wished that you could have probably tried something harder and you could have clinched it...?
What if there are other people involved?
Does having no regrets mean running yourself down..? Or becoming a doormat? What is it like to desperately want something though all logic and everything tells you that its not going to happen the way you want it? Been there? Felt that?
What is right for someone is wrong for another..
There are several times that I wish or maybe, just ponder on whether things can be just black and white. Or maybe that kinda world would be colourless. More than the black and white it is probably the gray that makes life exciting. Confusing. Despairing. And is it the despair and confusion that makes life, LIFE?
Even after pushing your limits, would there ever come a time, when you wish that you could have done things differently? Wouldn't that be a brand of regret by itself?
There comes a time in everyone's life where you feel like a glass of soda. There is bubble after bubble rising up to the top of your conscious mind. And the bubbles dont go pop. They just keep simmering. If that is ever possible. Well simmering bubbles in soda.. Drat.. what a thought..
The problem is the bubbles don't come one by one. Several come at a time. And it becomes impossible to miss any of them. The onslaught rather. Sometimes the intensity is almost like someone is going amuck with a machine gun - only that the firing is from inside you. rat-a-tat-tak-pap and whatever else it sounds like. Pellet after pellet.
On easier times its just extra-strong soda water. You crave for the peace that placidity can bring about. Wait for the bubbles to subside.
Have you tried making a straw stick to the bottom of a glass filled with soda? If you let it go, it will bob up and eventually fall out of the glass, on to the table. With all the unrest within trying to keep your wits about you is a lot like pinning the straw down. Quite an exercise.
Its but a bubble ..once it goes pop, there are going to be no remnants.. But thats the issue. Its like each bubble has a center filled with color fast liquid. The bubble goes pop. It leaves a mark. And each mark is like a snowflake. Unique. Unmatched.
The biggest mark right now is the bubble of no-regrets.
And a lot of times these bubbles make you ask questions to answers that you do not yet know. Murky? You bet.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Soul Balancing et al

Some time back I happened to state that I will write about the spas that I venture into. I have always loved the reflexology and all the other massage techniques in the world and its been a wish to visit the Ananda Spa at the Himalayas, ever since I read about it years back, though it costs a bomb. I need to have separate earnings to blow it there.
And here I write about Aura at The Park Nungambakkam, Chennai. Winner of the Most Innovative Spa Award last year at the AsianSpa awards.
By the way, let me give the disclaimer that whatever I write here is on personal experience and not written on anyone's behest and nor am I acquainted with the owners of Spas around here.
I happened to read about this in one of the newspapers. An article on the spas in Chennai and decided to check it out.
Fixed an appointment and landed there in time. I went through the entire service card and saw that they had somethings as simple as a Milk and Honey body treatment to complex Ayurvedic treatments. I had already made up my mind on what I wanted though there were a couple of things that caught my eye, I decided to raincheck that.
Also, if you want to avail of any services at Aura, Tuesdays (if I remember right) have a discount on all services for women. You could give them a call (044-42144000, 42676000, 42676300) and find out.
The one that I was most attracted to and had won glorious reviews about as well was monikered "Soul Balancing".
Read through the service card and you ll see the copy is very impressive. Writing about services in such places requires stringing the words in a manner that it impresses you subliminally as well, perhaps, and it was clear that The Park had hired a pretty good copywriter. If that was anything to go by, I definitely expected something other worldy. Well, who wouldn't.. let me rephrase, I would like to balance my soul the way it was printed.
I was first directed to a safe deposit locker where I could place my belongings.
The spa was quiet. Not serene. Just quiet. Tick One. Music was good. Tick two. Ambience great. Tick three. Nice play of colours. Tick 4. Lighting brilliant. Double tick 5.
Once in, the place looked exactly like the picture that they had displayed outside The Park.
Hmm... Whats surprising about a place looking like the picture you might ask. Well, have you visited the several Bhavans around Chennai and noticed how they photographed the milkshakes and ice creams on the menu looks and how the nice tasting but browbeaten product lands on your table? Forget that, how the plate and the Dosa look way different from the picture? Thats it.
With my expectations already sky high at first dekho I looked forward to a super time.
Now, I have always believed that the masseuse heats the oil or at least warms it before the service starts. Or rather thats the way I have experienced it as well. Literature on massage techniques speak about warming the oil at least between your hands, before applying it on the patient's body for therapy.
My first sensory shock happened here. The therapist commenced the session with almost ice cold oil at the base of my feet.
Also the oil was probably a cocktail of a few aromatic oils. What if someone was allergic to any of the compounds?
The masseuse was a pretty restless being I must say. When there is pin drop silence a balanced therapist adds to the experience. That was missing in that girl. Plus, she was talkative. Hardly wanted to talk shop when I was trying to "balance my soul" ;)That was the diademing glory. Not with thorns though, let me not be caustic. I'll just say, dried, ungainly leaves.
And maybe all that would have been forgiven of the therapy was any good. I was immensely disappointed. The therapist is definitely a novice.
45 minutes later, I was wondering why I dropped in there at all. And decided to give no thanks to the copywriter for the flowery words or the journalist who wrote highly of the service. Great writing though. Good job. There ends.
But then if you announce that you are a journalist probably things are different. The best therapist is sent to you and the treatment is no less than five-star. But what if you go in and come out as a nobody?
Anyway, once the session was over I came out to be treated to some herbal tea, that was a welcome treat.
If benefit of doubt be accorded here, every therapy session or how you come out of it depends on your therapist. Or luck. May I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Or maybe I could have chosen a different treatment.
The session, small wonder, does not come cheap either.
Nevertheless, if you head to Aura - at The Park Chennai and sign up for soul balancing, don't expect too much from this particular service.
This space shall definitely have some more experiences in therapy sessions, not just in Chennai but wherever I have had the time to test waters.
Next up - The wellness center at Chhatrapati Shivaji Airport "My Foot Reflexology"

Finally My Laptop is back

And blogging .. here I come!!!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Just heard..

The M.A.C. (OK the make up) store is going to open up in Chennai soon!!
Nuh-ice!!!! Saves me the bills in $.

Vairamuthu Naeram on Aahaa FM 91.9

Monday to Friday 9-11 pm IST.
Tune in your radios or better still just visit

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Who is Indai Haza?

I am still accessing the internet only once a day, laptop is still not back. I must say I am liking this.
To answer this question which has come in the form of several mails/sms asking if I have met her and where she is from. I got the answer a couple of days back.
Indai Haza is the name given to my alter-ego. The "eemineee" voice.
Chinmayi urf Indai Haza.

Saturday, July 12, 2008


One line... As a fan, I believe this album is stupendous.
Rahmaniacs rejoice!!!

Friday, July 11, 2008

No computer. No nothing

What is it like to have no computer for quite a number of days? Well I am living such a situation.
My laptop needed to be serviced and I dropped it off as soon as I stepped into the US. And its still sitting in the US somewhere. They didn't get it done in time and my cousin, poor thing, is running about to get it done.
We bought a bought a Mac desktop which could not be carted along with us.
I am missing my Mac. Been more than a week since I saw it..
And as of now I am blogging from my Radio station. Back to the good old of checking mail once a day and having no comp ... at least for a while..
Its only now that I realize how dependant I am on google. If I dont know something, it would be google this and google that.
Well, for whatever it is worth, I am going to check out this sabbatical, a forced one so to say.. feels like some extension of my hand has been taken away. The ghost limb effect :)
I am not slated to get my apple for another ten days at least.
Shall keep you posted on how I survive.
Also I guess it makes sense to post an update on the US concert then, though there is not much to write home about.
AND SAKKARAKATTI RELEASES TODAY! Its one of those rare occasions that a singer gets invited to an audio release. Not only that I am involved with Sakkarakatti in another way as well. Shall let you know how.. soon. I am looking forward to the do this evening.
OK universe, get to work and send some blessings my way.
Thank you!

Monday, July 07, 2008

Obscurity and otherwise.

Have you ever looked at a swimming pool all shimmering blue? From say, the 10th floor of a building?
I happened to have such a view of an empty pool yesterday. Ripple after ripple plaiting into one another creating honeycomb-like shapes. Sunlight beating down on creating shiny outlines to each random shape. Sometime I wonder whether all this is a lesson on its own. Wonder whether we can learn from just shutting our traps and watching. Breathing in and breathing out.
And Whether we are all just ripples in the pool of time. Imagining, thinking that we are leaving a mark, but creating only a ripple. But maybe that ripple is what is all important. Why would it not be. And that, each one winds into another, shapes another and creates something new. That which forms solely and that which is created with the help of another ......... And shape after shape united in one limpid pool. Limpid: to be free from obscurity. When and how do we lose the limpidness? And when does obscurity come in? How and when do things become murky? And do we consciously allow that? If so why?
Have you ever felt something calling out to you, a feeble voice at first and then it gets louder? And you really dont understand where it is coming from what you are supposed to do. So many times I feel like something from somewhere is calling out to me and it irritates me not to know what it is about.. The search of the unknown is one of the most suffering ones. And this is when I ask the cosmos that has so often given me what I want. If the cosmos is reading my blog.. here is to you. Time to help me.
To know the answer of an unknown question.
Even as I go through the passage for seeming errors and polishing up some lines, I am struck by the amazing weirdness of this passage. And realize that with all the psychology that I have studied, I am not quite a "normal" person really. And as of now, though I am a student of psychology, I dont seem to be friends with it. It has lead me to ask several questions. None of which have any answers yet. Or rather I havent been looking at the right places. But then who or what decides normalcy? How does anyone define or have the capacity to define normalcy? We are all happily weird in our own ways and probably revel in the knowledge. Or more commonly, in the lack of it. I am in this state of mind that cannot be really defined. Even as my mind makes a futile attempt to leaf through word after word.
What would it be like to just rise up and dissolve in to the blue sky?
By the way the sky over Orlando is a brilliant shade of blue.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

And the concert is today.

At the behest of a friend, I happened to visit the Prime outlets mall or whatever else it is called.
Almost raided that place and got all the footwear I needed. I am sure Aldo shoes will record a boost in their sales this year, and I would be glad to take sole credit for that.
I have always noticed that footwear, or rather the kind that I need is not available in Chennai or in any of the metros.
One of the exercises that I find tiring is shopping. Its the dullest thing to do. And physically tiring. No good on the personal plastic either. Wish I don't have to do that but, as I mention time and again, its an occupational hazard.
But for the amount of things that I needed I was done in about 5 hours or so. As long as shopping is concerned, its good to know what you really want make a list and stick to it.
I like the look and feel of Florida. The energies here are much unlike Canada but the people in Canada, or at least the ones that we were in touch with, I feel are nicer.

I also discovered relatives of mine here and it was good to see them. Remember seeing them when I was kid. Also part of my extended family has extended so much and too quickly for comfort that I am now - hey and presto - a GRANDMOTHER. To a 6 month old bonny boy. I dread the day he ll start talking and call me "paatti".

Other than that I have some high plans here before I board the flight back home. Shall let you know if they come to pass.

The concert is in a few hours. Hope God Blesses me. I guess I need it.

Friday, July 04, 2008


30 hours is way too long to travel to any destination.. My spinal column is threatening to give way.
This is another call for help for the good samaritans who have mailed me. Thanks Pradeepan and Anand.
Also please do let me know about the best malls around here.
Sorry I am using my blog as a helpline, but hey, I ll be glad to return the favour some day.
I am looking for some good footwear. Thats about it. If anyone can help me on where I can get them, probably in a mall or some place it will be great.

Also to answer some questions, (and a protest from Kavita on why I am not responding.. sorry time is a pinch right now).
I am not coming to any other cities; This time round, I guess I will be the usual tourist and visit the amusement parks ... anyway, even that remains to be seen...

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

In Orlando for the FETNA concert

Self explanatory title. I am improving I must say.
I am slated to perform for the FETNA concert the day after tomorrow at the Bob Carr Center for Performing Arts. If you are around, please do come.
Also please do suggest on where to go and all the usual touristy information other than what I can find on Wikipedia.
And if you are in Orlando - looking forward to meeting you!


Some of my recent blog posts have gone missing. I have no explanation. And I don't know what is happening. Seriously.