Saturday, February 20, 2010

Journeying...

Have been catching up with a couple of friends lately, people I have lost touch for several years now. When I was younger I really did not do everything that everyone did. For most people I was too driven. Which is why when people tell me of friends they have grown up with, best buddies and things like that, all I can do is smile and wonder what is like. I didn't have a group of close friends. When the ubiquitous Friendship day happens and the magazines/papers call me for a quote, it is one of those times I am at a total loss for words. They ask me to describe friendship or true friends. Here its tough for me to draw from experience. I sometimes wonder why and all but I don't regret it. I have met several people along the way, have silently watched, listened to or learnt from them. Some have left a mark. Some have left bruises. Some scars. But a mark nonetheless. And this week I finally met with friends after ages really. Now I cannot help but smile when this flashback happens, filmi style :) and to see the changes, to see the evolution. The wisdom in the words and in the eyes. And how some endearing mannerisms thankfully stay. I got the Bhagavad Gita as a gift today and intend to start reading it soon. This friend was telling me, that when I was his colleague, new and all, I apparently hummed while I worked (when I worked while still in school that is) and then he turned and asked "why are you humming?". And I'd said "because I sing". And then he said "uhhppp .. hahaha.. did you hear that.. she sings songs". And he said this evening, he apologised for it. I have absolutely no recollection of this incident but it was hilarious to hear this nonetheless. I worked with him when I was in 11th std. And then there was this girl I met  in the same office. Bright, funny, very smart, charming.... She eventually started her own theatre production and I was supposed to have worked with her. And just like that, on Valentines Day, she died. I just couldn't digest the fact at all. How could it happen I kept asking myself. I still do.
Life teaches you so many things. Sometimes it is in the face. Some times it is quiet. You win some people, you lose some people. But you don't want to lose people altogether. Not to death. And definitely not when you are some 50 years to get to an acceptable dying age. I will never claim that I was a great friend of hers but I had known her reasonably well. Its tough to push the lump that rises in the throat. 
And then there are people you meet, who exasperate and accuse you of something that you are not, or say things as strong as you ll never get there, you ll never be this or you ll never be that .. you ll meet them all along the way, No matter who you are. No matter what you do. But these are the people you need to be thankful for a lot more. Because in spite of everything, they contribute to the fire in your belly. Don't we need something every once in a while, to make you say "I ll show you!!" ?  Thank your stars for your detractors. For the people you meet on the way side, your co passengers. People will eventually get in and get off at various points. Its a ride. Bumpy, smooth, comfortable, lulls you at times. Love it, live it, hate it, experience it. There will come a time when you can say "I have arrived". Until then, keep going. Or maybe, you don't have to say that at all. When you arrive, the announcement is made. Perhaps. Ain't it?

P.S.: I blog and I write here to log certain thoughts that come to me at a certain point in time. Its a process wherein this is also something I do to watch what I am doing and thinking. And to keep in touch with you the reader. And like anything else a post is inspired by a certain set of events. Ideas and beliefs according to me need not be something that has to be unchangeable. What is the point to have only one set of ideas and hang on to it till death? Especially when there is a better option? I like the concept of evolving and I shall continue to do so. I like taking new ideas and suggestions as long as it leads to progression. Or to what my notion of progression is. It all need not necessarily have to conform everything under the heading of standard-ly accepted. Why conform to that anyway? 
My journey is not about conforming to standards at all. Again, that is a personal viewpoint and I don't expect that you should agree.  And this space primarily is to watch that process.

19 comments:

Jay said...

Dear Chinmayi,

Nice post. As I was reading through, I could relate it so much with my own experience in life.
"Because in spite of everything, they contribute to the fire in your belly"
Ah, am truly inspired by your amazing sense of optimism!

Hats off ! Keep inspiring!

The Mad Jammer said...

Chin - Lately, life has been pushing me to desperate levels. And I have tried my best to remain as calm as I can. People have thrown me beyond imaginable levels saying things I never would be. This post is more of a reflection of thoughts, what its purpose is I dont wish to ask, but all I can say is - I am not alone, neither are you. I only wish, pray , hope we all get enough endurance to hold on till the " I have arrived" stage comes.

Arch

Anonymous said...

Good; there is a point in ones life when some one or ones arrive, and you will be forced to believe they have only you to depend on (thought it is a myth), that is the point when the outlook on life takes a cataclysmic change. Watch out for that point, and if you can manage to cross that without the feeling of bond(age), then, maybe there is nothing beyond that point to bring any great outlook change, even as you ontinue to progress. Maybe Gita, the gift you have received, says the same.

Chinmayi Sripada /Chinmayee said...

Arch: I ll wish for you with all my heart, that there are truly better times ahead. And if there are people telling you this, do not worry, because thats what they are made to do, and thats perhaps their only thing to do in life. And I have this feeling that perhaps you are meeting such people you can and will forge ahead and be a trailblazer in your own right. I ll cheer for you. Rather imagine I already am. And I ll make the announcement for you, what say? :)

The Mad Jammer said...

Chin: These are times when ordinary people like us are pushed to take extraordinary dimensions - sometimes superhuman.To throw some people, to walk away from some and to learn to live with some. Thanks, and yes - your words are loud and clear for a smiling face :-)

M GANESAN said...

VERY NICE POST .THANKS.

REGARDS
GANESAN.M

Maddy said...

I have a request for you - please do take some time to write,i mean write blogs than just tweeting. This makes for a totally better experience and reflects your thoughts very well.

I understand that time is a luxury for a multi-tasker of your strata, but, i think this process of inspiring a new dimension of thinking among a considerable number of your blog readers is probably the noblest of the things you do. Please keep on writing!

P.S: I am very, very eagerly waiting for VTV to release, to see how that phrase in your voice "inimel puyal veyil mazhai paalai solai ivai ondraga kadapome!" has been filmed, not to mention your dubbing! oh i am seriously very eager to hear you voice for trisha too.. I love your dubbing!

sfauthor said...

Nice posting. Do you know about this edition of the Gita?

http://www.YogaVidya.com/gita.html

Bruno said...

I had similar thought process in these lines, but in a different view point...

I tried to put all in a kavithai..

http://arbruno.wordpress.com/2009/10/26/ennai-kaanavillai/

Nice post.. Thanks

- Bruno

Vijai said...

Hi Chin..its always a sweet thing to remember the past and friends and i had a thing common with you had that i may share with you.(sorry its unsolicited)
I too dont remember anything what i did/helped for my friends ..but when they say it to me after some years....i really wonder whether it was me ??
[ BTW...y u wrote a p.s? is it a disclaimer? :) ]
luv
vijai

Vijai said...

Hi Chin..its always a sweet thing to remember the past and friends and i had a thing common with you had that i may share with you.(sorry its unsolicited)
I too dont remember anything what i did/helped for my friends ..but when they say it to me after some years....i really wonder whether it was me ??
[ BTW...y u wrote a p.s? is it a disclaimer? :) ]
luv
vijai

vijaya said...

Hi. Chinmayi,

I am a great fan of you as a singer and comperer and now after reading your post I feel you reflect my thoughts.
Great post and looking forward to much more like this.
Vijaya ramamurthy

Chandramouli said...

Hello Chinmayi

50 years to get to an acceptable dying age!! Such a thought used to be applied ages ago. Presently, people age, and age gloriously, continuing to earn or contribute in some way or the other to the family and society. The bench mark talked about now is that 80 years is like 65 years, thanks to better standard of living.

About your postscript, I fully share your view that we continuously evolve and don't need to conform to any old thoughts or practices, religious or otherwise. You remember the great Kannadasan who was once an atheist. He, in his later years, became a God-loving person, and created immortal works, like "Arthamulla Indhu Madham"!

NEELIMA said...

This is the first time I read your blog. As I started reading about Journeying, I was in tears :) happy n sad. It was like listening to ar rahman's music :). keep writing. good luck. neelima

Anonymous said...

I am in tears n lost. Your writing is as beautiful as rain - ar rahman's music - endless :). Keep writing. neel

vids said...

Well said :):):) Life is always a wonderful journey ..... and it is ALL what you can make of it . God Blez !!!

Matangi Mawley said...

Don't know why I am writing this.. but I feel like writing this...why is that everytime i read a post here, i am relating it with a page in my life? why is that every time, i m reminded of my dad or mom when i read anything out here.. reason- all of us- we go through same phases in life.. emotions are the same!
bt the bizziare thing abt this post is tht- i have never had much friends too.. i was, guess all the time, in my own world.. at school- nt many kids used to talk to me- coz i always used to in these music or drama kind of activities.. for some reason other kids found tht to be some kind of strange thing.. i was an alien species among the "mark/grade hungry" crowd... it became the opposite while at college! so, i have never had much people whom i could call friends..
but i do remember one incident when i heard abt a boy (who used to be in school with me) killed in an accident.. this happened while i was in college.. i cried for nearly 2 hrs.. guess tht is there in us.. even though we dont feel it.. some of us cant express friendship.. coz we dnt see ppl reciprocating wht we feel towards them.. we end up only hurting ourselves.. bt tht does nt mean, we do nt feel it..

thanks again.. for helping me recollect these memories..

PS: the 'anbil avan' song from VTV is beautiful! keep up the good work.. my fav hwevr is 'aromale'! have nt watched the movie yet.. hope i do, in time..

Anonymous said...

Hi chinmayi,

ive been an avid reader of ur blog for a while, but never felt as compelled to post a comment as i did this time. Ur insights are thought provoking, to say the very least, i got goosebumps just from reading the entry. I admire u as an individual for the clarity of ur thoughts and convictions. kudos to u!!! :D

A.Hari said...

Hi Chinmayi,

Really lucky to get a chance to read your blog today. Very interesting to know your clear thoughts about Life. U r expressing ur thoughts in a simple & inspiring style.

I have a blog 'Inspire Minds' where I post inspiring life stories of ppl who have achieved success after a great struggle. Do have a look. I will be fortunate if u find time to post ur comments.

http://changeminds.wordpress.com/

Do post frequently.

A.Hari