Sunday, June 12, 2011

"The Best Advice I ever Got"

When I was in New York my mentor, Joan Amble made sure that I got to go to a WNBA Inspiring Women's Luncheon. One of the best I had ever attended. Katie Couric was being awarded the Most Inspiring Woman award. In spite of the West claiming to be so progressive, or at least the US, in their 300 years of independence they have not had one woman as President. In India's independent 60 years we had our first woman PM 30 years ago. We have had various women leaders in the Govt. I understood why women's liberation was necessary in the west. Women still earn way less to the dollar compared to men there. Though India is still work in progress on several counts, women have rapidly come up the ladder.

Listening to Katie Couric on that day, the first solo female anchor of a weekday evening news program on one of the three traditional U.S. broadcast networks, was an inspiration. I had a gist of the challenges she had to face. Those who went to the luncheon that day got her latest book - The Best Advice I ever Got - Lessons from Extraordinary Lives)

I get to read her input at the beginning of every new section and its almost as if everything is speaking to me. A lot of singers, musicians, songwriters, actors, head honchos, billionaires and the who's who that contributed to Katie Couric's book have excellent messages to share. 

At various points we think those who are successful have it easy. Or that they got there easily. But let me tell you, even those born with the proverbial silver spoon need to work their seats off to maintain the silver spoon. Only if they are smart enough, they ll turn it to gold. 

Today I get messages on Facebook that curse me anything ranging from a horrible accident to death to I will have a miserable life or anything on those lines, just because I don't accept a friend request. And this usually comes only from men. Sorry if it comes across as sexist, but I have to say it as is. No woman has cursed me because I didn't accept a friend request. Others think its OK to be profane on Twitter to a celebrity. And again this is men. I sometimes worry what sort of fathers these guys will make. So many spew venom at my mother because they know she's the reason why I got here and will go where I want to go. I get a range of other emails too but its unnecessary to talk about them and the really weird people behind those any further.  

As a female singer,  I face several challenges that I have to overcome with the able guidance of my mother. Not alone, thankfully. I am not going to be spelling them out. But I know the path I need to take to get to my goals. It might be a tad slower than most others, but if God is kind enough and if I have divine grace I might actually get there. 

Several men and women have had to go through terrible times, poverty, hunger, malpropagation and even worse experiences and finally end up triumphing. But someday I hope to stand as an example that someone who took the straightforward, righteous path can be at the pinnacle of success too. 


39 comments:

sundar said...

Just ignore such ppl.
There are so many good ppl who always recognize your efforts and support you.

Do hope all your endeavors render you the fruits of success

Cheers

Frrozzennme said...

Inspiring work! Yep, I agree there's a lotta challenges and hell a lot of obstacles to women than men. I bow before every women who is very confident and bold enuf (mentally) to cross them all. Belief is what I love the most of all. I see a good quantity of it in women nowadays. Its a positive note. But I wish those obstacles decrease gradually in the years passing by!!! Not challenges, cos they are the key of a healthy life.

and "I sometimes worry what sort of fathers these guys will make." I love this one!!! A fact too!!!

I'm proud to be a man, juz coz I can respect women!!!

varshu said...

its nice..n insprirational too..!women power!

varshu said...

nice...inspirational!

Priya Sreeram said...

Happy hoots chinmayi ! hoping u get to the pinnacle your way, the right way !!

Shankar said...

Hi Chinmayi,

Great post.

I will say this about those who spew crap - Many don't get Social Network, Communities etc. The so called 'anonymity' those networks provide, makes them think they can say what ever they want.

As much as it should disturb you when you come across one, just ignore.

If I may suggest - You write really well and its great to hear from musicians, hard-workers, entrepreneurs like you. I think 'blogger' or some setting is changing the presentation

e.g.
I had a gist of the challenges she had to face. Those who went to the luncheon that day got her latest book - The Best Advice I ever Got - Lessons from Extraordinary Lives) <-----

I've noticed that few blog editors, while posting change either a double-quote etc. to some other ascii character.

Best to you, your mom and family.

Chitra Sivasankar said...

Awesome words, 'even those born with the proverbial silver spoon need to work their seats off to maintain the silver spoon. Only if they are smart enough, they 'll turn it to gold'

And regarding the profanity of men, not all are like that. And many who have cursed you are just mad at you. But still I am not up for that.

They still have to learn that you are busy with your work and you too have privacy.

If I wish to ask you something I would do it on Twitter, because that't better for both of us.

Thanks! :)

Viswanaathan R said...

your focus & confidence are highly inspiring..Wish you keep them up & high ..This link might interest you if u ve nt read already http://www.hindu.com/2011/05/11/stories/2011051153751200.htm

Anonymous said...

That 'someday' is History now. You have already set an example.

And in the coming years...you are set for more bigger things and you will achieve it no matter what others talk about you.

You already quoted mani sir's dialogue from Guru..somewhere here or on Twitter but here it is again for the others to read - "if people have started to talk behind your back means you are rising". And for people cursing you and spewing venom.. Rajni says, "Indha Kaadhil Vaangi Adhai Andha Kaadhil Thallu".

Talking behind your back is a sort of Distraction to slow you down. All we need to do is..let them talk and you keep running comewhatmay. Ok. I am not going to bore you (or the readers) further... :)

Yusuf said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yusuf said...

Good read indeed!!
All the best for your future!!!
I'm secretly admiring you!

Sashwath said...

Nice to see you blog after us trip . . Success comes only with hard work. . Even a con has to work hard to do what if does . . Its nothing to be surpriced when ppl talk bad when they don't get what they want. . They send you friend request bcz they liked you . .how can they hate you if you don't accept friend request . . Lot to blame how they were raised. . Your mom is good so you are good. May be some day when you have kid even it will be good :-) .

shivakumar said...

"nothing can defeat you ,unless you defeat yourselves".
you are cool and collected over various issues and essay to maintain your head.
i am quoting you (sic) from may 29 write
"Inspite of what everyone may or may not tell you, this life is yours. You can be all that you want to be. Everything you want to be. We are at most time, everything that others want us to be, isnt it? So its not really beyond us to not be all that we want to be.

Grab every opportunity. It doesnt matter if you didnt succeed. And then again, the definition of success is very fluid and is not set in stone. The dictionary's first result of success is : "the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors".

So there you go. Give your own personal definition to success. Or just dont define it at all. May it rise beyond definitions."

GO AHEAD AND HAVE YOUR DAY.

Mohan said...

There was a time in our history when women were looked upon as being sacred, where their femininity was celebrated in the adoration of feminine concepts of divinity who represented nurturing and protection. Indeed, the infamous dowry system had at one time been reversed; it was the man who paid the woman's family for the sacrifice they were making in giving a daughter. How unfortunate that in trying to reform away from our superstitions, we threw out these noble ideals in favor of chauvinism.

Avinash said...

Hi Mam Wish all the best for your career. Let god shower his grace and make your wishes come true.

Cosmos said...

வாழ்க்கையில் ஆயிரம் தடைக்கல்லப்பா
தடைக்கல்லும் உனக்கொரு படிக்கல்லப்பா

உங்களுக்கு வெற்றி நிச்சயம் !!

Mageswary said...

Yes,you are a good example & you will be a better one in future. My best wishes & take care. God bless.

mehran mohiuddin said...

It is clear that u hav acheivd success with ur hardwork.n requoting wat u said chinmayiji ''ONLY SCHOLARS CAN CRITICISE,THE REST JUST COMMENT''.Well i'll remember those lines forever.People comment on sum1 coz dey dnt knw wat it takes to be there.I sincerely appreciate the way u tell abt ur mom.Interesting it is.keep blogging coz ur blogs are fantabulous.

Raji said...

"But someday I hope to stand as an example that someone who took the straightforward, righteous path can be at the pinnacle of success too" - Inspiring! I wish there are lots of people like you who can take this stand and make it happen.

Gokul2014 said...

Its really feel bad to read that a kind of messages send by a men. But, it can pause for a day, but it won't stop your entire vision. Sister your are the one who cares and respect every individual fan's of your by the way of responding sweetly... So, I'm sure you will be the future role model of young women's and men's too... There is no doubt on it... As a true fan of your sweet voice, we will be with you and we will encourage your best moments and new events every time. You have been passed some good lyrics through waves in music format, we too heart fully feel great and responded through the same media and also little bit by social media... Sister, You are sharing some wonderful messages which are productive and very informative too, don't stop or pause for the people who doesn't know the value of it... please!!! that is the one request by your fan & brother...

The Mad Jammer said...

Chinmayi, going through one of those phases now. I am going to try and get this book, asap! Forget those people - they are always lurkers!

Vickneshwaran said...

Ignore them Chinmayi, they're just pathetic losers craving for a celebrity's attention, pay no heed to them, consider them as dogs, we don't bark at dogs,do we?

You're a wonderful person and has inspired people across the ocean...just be yourself and God will bless you and your pillar of strength, your mother...

from your fan in Malaysia...

Nandhini said...

Just avoid those persons... Keep going your innovatives...

You are being a women icon...
Continue ur inspirational work...
V all with u..

Nice post..

Vinayagar said...

Being a man, I feel very sorry to hear about the profanity from men. I believe they must be some of those "literate but not educated" idiots.

I'm sure you would agree that there are men who don't belong that category. I sincerely wish that you come across a lot of such men in future who make you feel better than ever before, you certainly deserve it.

You are already an inspiration for many "men" like us. Wish you all the best!

Anonymous said...

As I know about you, you have achieved a lot. This is not in a single field. This will inspire to lot of younger generation, if they come across your profile.

Regards,
Chandar. R

salo said...

Don't worry chine mayi.
God always with you.
pray for you.proud of you.
all the best for all your success.
Take care,Take care of your mom.

Rajesh Balasubramanian said...

Wish you good luck in all your endeavours.

Manivannan Vangalur S said...

Ignorant people make ignorant, irrational and hurtful remarks. you sound like an honest individual with a strong sense of what's right and wrong and are blessed with such great motherly love. Godspeed to you.

My share of life said...

I have seen all your acheivements till date and I know for sure that you will acheive much more in life, all in the righteous way.

Divya said...

I share a few topics with my husband regularly and what I learn from you from twitter or "whattonameit" is definitely one.
I always tell him, look how she is - a young girl. I tell him all that you are doing and all the awards and recognition you are getting and even make him watch your interviews.
You are an inspiration to so many many of us. Just don't even waste your time thinking and writing about such people.

Ramanc said...

you are really typical example of Entrepreneur , congratulation chinmayi

Krithi said...

Chinmayi, M visiting ur blog after a long and am happy I did it in time to read ur latest post.

It is true that there is discrimination on women at work around the world and there are barriers for women to reach the top in any field even if they are equally talented. And you're right about success- doesn't come without pain. Amazing post as usual!

Do not worry abt the profanity from those stupid ppl. You are a great inspiration to many youngsters esp women already. Just be who you are and am sure you'll go places!

Luv,
Krithika

Arcran said...

Hey,

Felt close to the words that you have spilled here.This male chauvinistic society has given a lot of space for the women to climb up in their own way.There are a very few germs left behind in the society and those will cease to exist as generations pass by.We have a very good scenario today and I always look up to you as a woman whom i always admire for the confidence levels you have showed.You continue to rock.My best wishes rest with u forever. - Archu

longtailedmonkey said...

I feel what you mean. Even if women work their way up, there will always be a shackle in the disguise of culture, the preservation of which is almost always conveniently the burden of women.

JIA YOU!!! GAMBATTE!!! MEOW POWER!

Janak A. Jain said...

Mam

I have been a great admirer of your work - be it music or your written word. I have learnt a lot from you and I agree with you for what you have written here. I wish you all the very best. May God Bless You...

Janak

drizzling thoughts said...

as u can see there is more men here commenting and praising u.. than woman..

so atleast it proves not all men are bad..

i agree woman go through a lot more than men... but its not easy ride for men too.. its hard both ways. just should keep moving forward no matter what others say.

Violet Rose said...

You are a gr8 inspiration.......

anutha said...

Dear chinnu mam,i dn't have anything 2 say/give to you except my heartfelt prayers and wishes.Take care you and ur mother as well.Nallathu varatte, nallathu mathram varatte..
your good fan/sister(optional:))

Anonymous said...

hi chinmayi
see me like ur elder sister..i have been following u since ur first song and have seen ur growth..u have got great talent and i have always wondered abt ur multifaceted skills like singing,dubbing,hosting shows,rj etc.above all u have proved to be a successful entrepreneur..success is not at all easy and especially as a woman to reach this level in ur career,how much difficult times u might have undergone.even i have seen people have the attitude to comment watever they want against celebrities.