One of the lessons that my mother has taught me is this. When the going gets tough, plunge into studying. As I have mentioned at several instances in various media that of all the people that I have personally gotten to know and info on instances in whose lives I have been privy to, or as much as I have been given to know and understand, it seems to me that my mother will definitely be sharing the space of toughest lifetimes led. But she has told me this much. Whenever things were terrible, she decided to study. And it left her with no time to brood about the goings on and when the tough times eased a bit, she found herself endowed with knowledge. It left her richer, in both experience and learning.
Honestly, in comparison, she has given me an amazing life, sheltered, protected - though many may complain about it. But then hey, I am lucky to have a mom who is an intellectual, a visionary and knows how to channelize my energies. I have seen parents who are happy to be detached or those who have no option but to be detached. But then, to each his own. One has to walk a mile in someone else's moccasins to understand why they do the things they do.
To the outsider, I might be leading a charmed life. But there will always be things that the world will never know. Struggles that we face on a daily basis in the name of... - oh well, give it any name you will - the rampant injustice that I see and people who play along because it is convenient. It can leave one more disillusioned than ever. We all have our downtimes. Justified or not. And a lot would like to indulge in self pity and bemoan the situation. I am not ashamed to say I complain too. I am not a saint. At least not yet that I have mastered the art of detachment. And I have now decided that if I think God is being mean to me, I will study. And I realize now that studying is beautiful. Especially if you study in a goal oriented manner. It can be anything. A simple exam at any university. Or something that you have set for yourself. After all we know ourselves best. We know our deepest secrets. The day we begin to lie to ourselves is when we become the ultimate losers.
There was a time when if I got angry with God, this God got a sound verbal thrashing from me. And I used to curse him saying that he'd pay for all this. Ah the gall, one would think, to curse God himself. But then that's me. I can curse him and get away with it, because I know I am in the right. I laugh now, thinking about all that I used to do, not so long ago, but I don't regret it. I might curse God even today. Especially when I know that I haven't swerved from the path of ethics and justice.
So yes, inspite of all the nonsense that I see around me, all the nonsense and bullcrap that gets doled out, I channelize my thoughts on studying/reading/learning. Its far better than wasting energy brooding about people or circumstances or decisions arising thereof, on which we have no control and on people and circumstances that have anyway fallen so low that there is no redemption. One doesn't know if there will come a day when ultimately justice is served. But for now, its best to stick to the path of deeper learning and who knows, I might end up wiser. And maybe, just maybe, this too shall pass.